As a pastor and a police chaplain, every week I’m comforting someone who is facing the reality that we are all terminal. I prayed with two cops yesterday – one whose 62 year old mother died of a heart attack and another whose 66 year old mother just found out she has an advanced stage of cancer. The one common thing that all of us want when we consider the end of our lives is this: Did we live a life that mattered?
We all want to matter. We want our lives to have counted for something. We don’t want to live in such a way that we didn’t leave a footprint. We want to know that our lives weren’t lived in vain. We question: Did we contribute? Did we make a difference? Will any one remember us?
My pastoral role has placed me in a morgue with brothers confirming the identity of their 19 year old sister, at a suicide scene comforting devastated parents, beside a hospital bed with a spouse as the life-support machines were unplugged and the EKG monitor conclusively flat-lined, and in a hospital emergency room telling young parents that the medical staff had tried everything but they couldn’t bring their child back. These are just a few samples from the last three decades.
I know you might think it’s morbid to talk about death–-that maybe I’m a bit abnormal. But actually, it’s unhealthy to live in denial of death and not consider the inevitable. Only a foolish person would go through life unprepared for what we all know will eventually happen.
When I’m speaking at funerals, I love to get family members, friends and acquaintances thinking about their own legacies. I like to ask: How do you need to live today so that you will be remembered as someone whose life really mattered? What is currently at the top of your priority list and is that what really matters most? What will be your contribution today to those who will be memorializing you later? What will they say about you and how you lived your life when you are the one being eulogized?
My mission is to inspire transformissional living— especially in adults over 50. I love to see people still being transformed relationally, spiritually and emotionally as they mature. I’m passionate about helping folks be very intentional and purposeful about using their time, talent and treasure well as they play in the second half of the game. So, I won’t sidestep hard discussions about topics we prefer to ignore.
So I conclude by asking, are you living in such a way now that you will know at the end that your life truly mattered? If yes, what more of the right things do you need to do more often to increase your impact so that everyone around you will also know that your life mattered? If not, what needs to change and when and how will that change begin?
QUESTION: What measurement are you using to know for sure that your life really matters? Please share your answer in the comment section below.
If you pay attention to the stock market, you know it’s up, it’s down. Good investors say patience is one of the greatest virtues. An old Chinese proverb offers this lesson for investors: “If your vision is for a year, plant wheat. If your vision is for ten years, plant trees. But if your vision is for a lifetime, plant people.” I love planting people! And tasting the results of long-time planting is even sweeter!
Things like stocks come and go, but people will carry your values and beliefs through generations. Investing in your family and other people is an ultimate long-term view, the mutual fund of a lifetime.
As with any financial investment, starting early and being consistent over the long-haul is a proven way to accumulate the greatest results. That’s also true of investment in people. Intentionally pouring love and nurture into a baby and consistently mentoring that growing child toward adulthood will bring the best possible chance of a positive outcome. This principle is one of the reasons that my wife Linda loves her job. She’s a labor and delivery nurse. She regularly gets to inspire new parents to invest well right from the get go.
Regardless of whether reflection on your past investments lead to a sense of regret or fulfillment, it’s not too late to start investing in people. I suggest you make sure you are investing in your family first of all. If married, start with your spouse. If a parent, make sure you are investing in your children. If a grandparent, sow intentionally into your grandchildren. People will carry your values and beliefs through generations.
Let me also suggest that you also consider investing in a younger person outside your family circle. It could be coaching a future leader in your work place. It might be mentoring a student in a local school. You could be a Marriage Mentor. Or you could guide a spiritual seeker into a maturing relationship with God.
If you live in Southwest Florida, you could invest in a student through Not In My City. There are many ways to make a difference in the lives of children in every community. Explore the opportunities through your House of Worship or through your local United Way organization.
Who are you investing in? Are you being intentional about investing in your family? Are you investing in anyone in the generations below you? If not, why not get started?
QUESTION: Who invested in you? How have they impacted your life? Share your comments below.
This week, God welcomed into heaven a great influencer in my life, Zig Ziglar. Motivational speaker and author extraordinaire, Zig was known for his sales and positive attitude seminars that grew into packed arenas. I first heard him speak back in the late 80’s as a guest speaker at a conference in Indiana led by John Maxwell. Then I led a study group video series by Ziglar, “Raising Positive Kids in a Negative World” in the 90’s. Around 2000, I heard him again at the American Airlines Miami Arena alongside an impressive line-up of speakers such as Colin Powell, Laura Bush, Barbara Bush and Larry King. Every time I listened to Zig speak, I went away motivated to the max!
Zig Ziglar, lost his father at age 5. Born in Yazoo City, Mississippi, he was the 10th of 12 kids. He started selling peanuts on the street at age 6 and then mowing yards.
At age 12, he started working at a grocery store with John R. Anderson who treated him as a son. Mr. Anderson taught him that if you were kind to people and followed through with every promise, you would have a better career. Young Zig watched how Mr. Anderson treated African-American’s with respect and kindness in the deep south long before the civil rights movement. One of Zig’s favorite things to say was, “God don’t make no junk…color has nothing to do with it…it’s your heart.”
Zig Ziglar shaped me from a distance. He taught me to start looking at the positive side of every situation. So, in tribute to Zig, here’s some of some of his quotes that are favorites of mine.
“It’s not what happens to you that determines how far you will go in life; it is how you handle what happens to you.”
“The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what you want most for what you want right now.”
“Be helpful. When you see a person without a smile, give them yours.”
“Failure is a detour, not a dead-end street.” 
“You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.”
“You can have anything you want if you help enough other people get what they want.”
“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.”
“The foundation stones for a balanced success are honesty, character, integrity, faith, love and loyalty.”
“With integrity, you have nothing to fear because you have nothing to hide.”
QUESTION: Any Zig Ziglar quotes that have shaped you? Share them in the comment section below.
I recently saw Steven’s Spielberg’s latest movie, “Lincoln.” It’s an Academy Award-winning film waiting to happen. This captivating drama plays out as Abraham Lincoln brings the full measure of his presidency, his passion and his humanity to a defining battle against overwhelming odds and extreme public and personal pressure.
The movie captures the intensity of President Lincoln’s moral fortitude as he, not only seeks to end the devastating Civil War, but more importantly, fights to pass the 13th Amendment—permanently abolishing slavery. It’s the story of a true historical act of national daring that became Lincoln’s ultimate legacy.
Here are several take-aways for me:
Leadership is a Dance – President Lincoln showed masterful leadership skills. He was an eloquent statesman, a shrewd commander, a fierce power broker, and yet a playful story-teller. He knew when to lead the dance and when to follow. He even knew how to step on toes. Lincoln guided our country through its worst moments and allowed the ideals of American democracy to survive and assure the end of slavery.
Thaddeus Stevens, another colorful leader in the story-line was excellent on his feet while doing the leadership dance. He knew how to use both silence and words to change hearts. His blend of fiery wit and sarcasm were both effective weapons in the fight for leading what was right.
Balance the Personal and Professional – Lincoln didn’t always get the perfect balance of these two. Sometimes the tension between family responsibilities and the pressure of his role as president was unimaginably difficult. The scene of the president picking up his young sleeping son off the floor and tucking him into bed is one memorable moment in this balancing act. Reading and playing with his son while waiting on news of the vote that would define his legacy is another indelibly etched scene on my mind as I reflect on Lincoln’s battle to find the near perfect fulcrum point of success both at home and at work.
Battle With All Your Might for What Will Define You – The “Lincoln” movie only covers the final four months of Abraham Lincoln’s life. But the battle for what Lincoln passionately believed was right, motivated him to grapple with his government of opposite persuasions. The movie reveals that flawed, complicated human beings can accomplish the incredible when they have a core conviction that some values are non-negotiable. The fight to pass the 13th Amendment on the floor of the House of Representatives was more than monumental. Lincoln knew this battle would alter the course and actions of generations to come. It’s what mattered most to him. It’s what ultimately defined him.
History shows us that Lincoln’s very silhouette has morphed into a global symbol of the hope that power can be wielded judiciously. Subsequently, someone wrote, “Abraham Lincoln has long existed on the razor’s edge between myth and flesh-and-blood man.” He’s a legend because he battled with all his heart, soul, mind and strength for belief in the equality and freedom of all men and women.
What will define your life? It’s not too late to think about. Remember, Lincoln’s footprint on the entire world is pretty much defined by the battle he fought and won during the final four months of his life.
QUESTION: What is one thing you want to be remembered for? Share it with us in the comment section below.
On Thanksgiving Day and most days across America and around the world, people pause while the food is steaming hot, join hands around the table, and give thanks. Sometimes, we call it, “Saying grace.” It might be a memorized prayer passed down from previous generations, a silent prayer or a spontaneous expression of thanks led by a family member. Whatever your custom, I love these words by Jackie Windspear, “Grace isn’t a prayer you say before receiving a meal. It’s a way to live.”
Grace-filled living is as rare and unique as authentic heart-filled prayer around the dinner table. Whether it is aging gracefully, treating others with grace or experiencing grace, it’s just not that common. Yet, when it comes down to it, most all of us would really like to be remembered for our grace. We want our lives to be filled with the rich cornucopia of grace—gentleness, love, kindness, peace, purpose, gratitude, abundance, beauty and joy.
What does a grace-filled life look like? What are the key ingredients necessary so you and others will recognize a graceful life when they see it? Let me suggest a few:
Receive God’s Grace – You can’t give away what you haven’t received or experienced. God is the ultimate dispenser and model for grace. Romans 5:6-8 gives us a compelling picture, “You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Receive the Grace of Others – How well do you receive compliments? When someone comments on your new haircut, your bold, visionary idea at work, do you take it in? Do you let it fill your heart and soul with appreciation and joy? Or do you laugh in embarrassment and wave it off? Perhaps you shrug your shoulders and mumble, “Oh, it’s nothing.”
In contrast, make eye contact, let it soak in and say a deeply meant, “Thank you, that means so much to me.” Without gratitude, you can never feel emotionally and spiritually full. You can never accept and trust that life is joyous and rewarding. And while you may say grace before a meal, the point of a life well lived is to live in grace as much as possible. That can only happen when gratitude becomes you.
Make a Daily Decision to Live In Grace – What does it mean to live in grace? First you experience gratitude for what you have. You receive and realize God’s grace on a daily basis. You appreciate the gifts that come with your everyday life–even the challenges that help you grow. It allows you to more fully experience and appreciate all that happens. In time, grace and gratitude become part of your identity. Little by little, you start to notice how receiving and giving grace becomes more natural to you, almost instinctive–a kind of everyday grace.
When you begin to live in grace and receive it as a natural part of everyday life, it becomes much easier to extend grace to others. What we are overflowing with, spills out and splashes on others. We can freely give what we have freely received.
So this week, and every week, make it a practice to see the opportunity in the crisis, the blessing in the disappointment, and the joy when it goes just like you want it to. When you do, grace will, indeed, become a way of living.
QUESTION: How are you learning to live in grace? We would love to learn from you as you share in the comment section below.
Did you survive Black Friday? I’m always amazed to hear of people camping outside a store for 8 days to save $240 on a new TV. My math doesn’t calculate economic sense (if you are employed) into such an outrageous decision but it gives news directors a story to fill up a 30-minute slot on a slow news day. A favorite author and blogger, Seth Godin jarred my attention recently with this question, “What happens when we adopt the posture of being in a hurry to be generous?”
We are often in a hurry. We are in a hurry to get to the front of the line, to finish first, to close a sale, to get a limited item before the hoarders get it. What if we became known as the people who are in a hurry to be generous? It’s an interesting sort of impatience.
Wouldn’t it be a game-changer if you and I were notorious for generosity with our insight, our kindness, our place in line, our time, talent and treasure? What if the news this week was filled with people putting others ahead of themselves, serving the needy, giving the poor a hand up rather than brawls at Wal-mart over a $4.99 video game?
There are very few people who don’t like the idea of generosity. We humans love to help others and confront needs when we see them. Unfortunately, there are also very few people who are content with the level of generosity in their lives. Most people I know wish they were able to give more.
Joshua Becker, blogger at the popular Becoming Minimalist website, suggests we move toward generosity through taking simple steps:
Consider the Benefits of Generosity – Generous people report being happier, healthier and more satisfied than those who don’t give.
Embrace Gratitude – Make a list of the things in your life for which you are most grateful. Intentional reflection on your blessings will set the tone for sharing.
Start Small – If you’ve never given away money, start by giving away $1, $5, or $20. I had the privilege of growing up with the Biblical concept of tithing (meaning tenth) as my starting point but have grown in generosity to usually doubling that percentage each year.
Give First – Make your first expense the act of giving. Giving out of our left overs doesn’t work very well when we have been ingrained with the habit of spending all of it on ourselves.
Spend Time With People in Need – One of the most effective antidotes for non-generosity is to make space in your life for those much worse off than yourself. I’ve had the privilege of traveling to some of the poorest nations on this earth. But, just rubbing shoulders with need right in your own city can change your viewpoint.
Spend Time With Generous People – Hanging around generous people will inspire you. Ask them, “Have you always been generous? When did you become so generous, and why?”
Make a Decision to Own Less – Owning less doesn’t automatically make you a more generous person but it will provide the space necessary to make it possible.
Generosity rarely happens by chance. Instead, it is an intentional decision that we make in our lives. But it does not need to be as difficult as many people think. Starting with these simple steps may be the best step we can take in our hurry to be generous.
QUESTION: What simple steps have you incorporated into your life to foster generosity? Share yours below in the comment section.
Ancient scriptures instruct us to be filled with gratitude and thanksgiving. It turns out that our Creator knows exactly how He created our bodies to thrive in modern times. There is scientific evidence that counting your blessings produces multiplied health benefits. Dr. Robert Emmons and his colleagues at the University of California at Davis are among the pioneers in research on gratitude. Dr. Emmons leads a movement called positive psychology. Instead of focusing on illness, addictions and emotional problems, positive psychology studies health-promoting behavior and the pleasurable parts of life.
In one research project, Dr. Emmons reports that participants were divided into three groups, each of which made weekly entries in a journal. One group wrote five things they were grateful for. Another group described five daily hassles and then a control group listed five events that had affected them in some way.
The above study showed that the gratitude group felt better about their lives overall, were more optimistic about the future, and reported fewer health problems than the other participants. Results from a second study showed that daily writing led to a greater increase in gratitude than weekly practice. A third study reproduced these same results among a group of people suffering from various neuromuscular diseases such as fibromyalgia.
Similar studies of people using daily gratitude journals reported the gratitude group getting more sleep, spending less time awake before falling asleep and feeling more refreshed in the morning. Other related studies show that gratitude can have a protective effect against heart attacks. Dr. Emmon’s book, “Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier” details the results of his research.
GETTING STARTED—If you would like to increase the level of gratitude in your life, here are three suggestions:
Keep a Daily Gratitude Journal – Set aside time daily to record 3-5 things that you are thankful for. Make it as simple or elaborate as you prefer. The important thing is to establish the daily practice of paying attention to gratitude-inspiring events and write them down. Dr. Emmons suggests that performing this exercise for four days a week for three weeks can increase your happiness level by 25% or more for over six months.
Write a Gratitude Letter – Sit down and write a letter or an email to someone who has left a positive influence on your life and you’ve never taken the time to thank them. Even better, write out the letter and then read it to the person face to face.
Have a Gratitude Partner – The support of others encourages healthy behaviors. Just like an exercise partner can help you maintain the discipline of working out, a person with whom you share gratitude lists and give permission to remind you when you are sending out invitations to attend your pity party, can help you change the whole tone of your life.
So, what next step will you take to multiply the benefits of gratitude? What if you began today with even just one of these three suggestions? Here’s to a happy and healthy Thanksgiving week!
QUESTION: What’s one thing you are most thankful for? Share your gratitude in the comment section below.
While on vacation with my wife this week, we were visiting the Old Towne shops in Bera, Kentucky. Behind the counter of Hot Flash Beads, we met an inspiring lady, Jimmy Lou Jackson, owner and creator. She joyfully makes and sells all kinds of beads, earrings, necklaces and other jewelry. Jimmy Lou revels in demonstrating her lampworking process with a steady stream of jovial banter with her spectator-soon-to-be-customers. I love a quote on her wall-sized bio that reads, “You can do something practical or do something that makes your heart sing.”
In conversation with Jimmy Lou, we learned that that she spent every work day up until age 50, examining PAP smears in a lab looking for cancer cells. Certainly, her calling made a significant difference in the early detection of cancer in the lives of thousands of Central Kentucky women over those many years. But now, the former cytologist, heats up science with a love of art. My wife looked over Jimmy Lou’s shoulder as her glowing torch met with molten glass rods, slowly forming and building each uniquely designed bead by hand. Jackson’s bead jewels are as astonishing and distinctive as the natural patterns that occur in fossils, gems and minerals. Fusing the worlds of science and art, Jimmy Lou has found her calling.
Are you doing what makes your heart sing? Or, are you just doing what is practical? If your days aren’t filled with what makes your heart sing, why not? What would a perfect day look like for you? Take time to write out a brief description.
What steps will you need to take to get to live your perfect day a year from now or two years from now? Even if you can’t completely transition to your dream life in a year or two, what intermediary steps will you take in the next year to prepare for a more complete shift later? The areas that usually need attention are finances, time and your energy—both emotional and spiritual.
What are the obstacles that stand in your way of living in such a way that you are doing what makes your heart sing? It’s good to start building your capacity now in the areas above so they aren’t hinderances. Obviously, if you don’t take any steps toward living your dream now, you will never live it in the future.
Jimmy Lou is living her dream because she made deliberate determinations and decisions before age 50. What one thing will you do this week to make your heart sing?
QUESTION: What makes your heart sing? Share it with the rest of us in the comment section below.
To live a life of significance, it’s mission critical that you evaluate and understand three areas of your life. Halftime leader, Lloyd Reeb calls them the three C’s: Core, Capacity and Context. The more you understand your core, your capacity and your context, the greater legacy footprint you will leave behind.
The Bible indicates you were created by God in a unique way for a unique purpose. Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which he prepared in advance for us to do.” The challenge is to discover where your unique abilities combine with what you are most passionate about and then to join in what you can see God is already doing in that arena.
CORE
Do you have a mission statement for your life? Are you clear about what your passions and strengths are? Most people I know never take the time to slow down and analyze their life long enough to develop an answer to a question like, “What do I want to be remembered for?”
I’ve carried a small laminated card in my wallet for many years. It’s my life mission statement: “To be an authentic connection between God and people through exercising my leadership gifts and unique personality.” Last weekend, while sitting with a dozen guys going through the process led by Lloyd Reeb (Author of Success to Significance), I actually decided that I would adopt the header of this blog as my new life mission statement: “Inspiring transformissional living in adults over 50.” Have you written or updated your life mission statement recently? In a future blog, I will give you some tips on writing a mission statement.
CAPACITY
Your capacity to live your mission will usually be fueled by or hindered by three things: Time available, your financial situation and your emotional or spiritual energy. If you don’t have the discipline needed to say “no” to the good things so you can say “yes” to the best things, you will not have the capacity needed to fulfill your God-inspired purpose. Financial freedom or burdensome debt will either propel you toward or keep you from your mission. Your capacity to do what you’re created for is also determined by your emotional and/or spiritual energy. If you live in a deficit instead of with an overflow, you will be hard-pressed to have all the capacity you need when times get tough.
CONTEXT
The environment in which you share your time, talent and treasure is critical for maximizing your calling. The role you play and the organization where you serve can become game-changers for fruitfulness. Knowing yourself, your personality, your gifts and your wiring are very important for finding the best setting for carrying out your God-designed mission.
How are you doing in your core, your capacity and your context? The place where all three C’s overlap is where you will experience the “sweet spot” of maximum significance.
QUESTION: Would you share your life mission statement? Write in the comment section below.
Recently, while spending time with Lloyd Reeb (Author of Success to Significance) and a dozen guys who were exploring what it means to live a life of significance, he said something that got my attention. It wasn’t a new thought to me. But this one thought sometimes gets lost in the hurry and scurry of life. A life of significance is built from the inside out. So simple, yet so powerful.
The Foundation Assessment exercise above, (available as a download at Halftime) will help you discern where you are right now in three very important areas of your life.
Your Inside World
How are you doing in your personal growth? Are still learning and stretching or are you just coasting and relying on your past knowledge? How about your health? To the degree you can control it, are you being a good steward of your body? If you are married, to what degree is your marriage thriving? What about your faith? Is it stagnant or growing? Do you nurture it daily?
Your Surrounding World
Score yourself on a 1-10 scale. How are you doing in your finances, parenting, career and friendships? Are you a good manager of what has been entrusted to you? Have you been intentional about staying connected to your children and grandchildren? Has your career been God honoring and fruitful? Do you have friends and do you regularly invest in those relationships?
Your Outside World
Are you making an impact in your community and beyond? Are you being intentional about making a positive, eternal impact in your local church and/or community? What about regionally, nationally or internationally?
If you are going to ignite a life of impact and adventure, you must build a solid foundation. Without a solid foundation, you will not be able to live a balanced, rewarding and sustainable second half.
QUESTION: What is one step you will take this week to build a stronger foundation? Share it in the comment section below.
