A couple years ago someone pointed out to me that a survey of the top 100 leaders in the Bible showed that only one-third of them finished well. The other two-thirds finished poorly. When I look around me, I think I see just a little better stats than that but I’ve seen a lot of prominent leaders in business, politics and ministry, leave a mess in their wake. It happens way too often.
A ministry leader I respect, Ed Stetzer, recently wrote a blog on the “Five Reasons Leaders Finish Poorly.” The blog was focused on older ministry and movement leaders who are nearing the end of their public leadership. His reasons included not trusting younger leaders, fighting over unimportant things, identities too connected to productivities, getting angrier as they grow older and not letting go of the baton to younger leaders. I’ve noticed commonalities as I reflect on the leaders I’ve seen crash and burn.
But this post is about only one sobering leadership principle that we must grasp if we want to avoid finishing poorly. It has to do with your public life and your private life. They are inseparable. You can try to manage two identities. It won’t work. It might for a time, but not for long. You’ll be discovered. Your personal junk will impact your professional world—eventually. This is the one most common reason that leaders finish poorly.
Here’s my suggestion: It’s better to protect your public life by improving your private life. And, it’s better to do it now rather than later.
QUESTION: What additional reasons do you see as to why leaders finish poorly? Thank you for noting them in the Comment section.
Last month when my wife and I were driving through the little one-stoplight-town of Lafayette, Oregon, we started chuckling. We were both remembering the time a few years ago when we parked along Main Street in Lafayette to meander through some antique shops. We came back to our rental car and tried to put the key in the door. It wouldn’t go in the lock.
As I kept trying to turn the key in different directions to get it in the lock, I grumbled and complained. The key looked a bit bent, so I tried to straighten it. I gave my wife the key and she tried to unlock the door. Growing more and more frustrated about what might have happened to this crazy rental key or the key lock on the car, my wife looked through the window of the car and couldn’t believe her eyes. All the stuff inside the car didn’t match anything we owned. It was the wrong car!!
Right key, wrong car. Another car of the same make, model and color had been parked one or two spaces from ours. We were trying to get into the wrong car. We looked around to see who might be watching and then laughed at ourselves as we easily opened the right car.
I’ve thought about that faux pas many times since. I’ve met a lot of folks who live their lives trying to put the key in the wrong door. They get so absorbed with some small aspect of a situation and totally fail to step back and survey the entire situation—like just looking at the obvious interior elements of the car that were visible all along.
Some of my favorite quotes include:
“I’m like the painter with his nose to the canvas, fussing over details. Gazing from a distance, the reader sees the big picture.” –Steven Saylor
“In order to properly understand the big picture, everyone should fear becoming mentally clouded and obsessed with one small section of truth.” – Xun Zi
Sure, sometimes we really need to center on the details. Yet, many times we can get so wrapped up in those little things that we totally miss the big picture. It can happen in a marriage. It can happen at work. It can happen when we raise children—focusing on small behaviors instead of looking at the tone of the heart. We always need to keep the end in mind. Never get so engrossed in the particulars that you forget the purpose of the key—to start the car and take you to your destination.
QUESTION: What minutia do you need to let go of in your life? Please share below.
One of the commonly agreed upon “best” ads during the 2013 Super Bowl was the “So God Made a Farmer” commercial by Dodge Ram. It was the longest commercial (2 min.) and subsequently the most expensive since a 30-second spot was going upward of $4 million this year. The ad was a masterful blend of nostalgia and feel-good country heroism narrated by radio legend Paul Harvey. If you missed it or want to see it again, you can watch it right here.
Dennis during his Oregon farm days
The “Farmer” commercial brought out the farmer in me. I realized in a renewed way that so much of who I am is clearly shaped by my background and upbringing. Of course, that is true of all of us. I was raised on an Oregon grass seed farm. We raised mostly lawn and golf course seeds during the peak of my involvement. My dad had a dairy until I was six and then we had at least one cow to milk until I went to high school. So, I have a pretty good feel for many of the common aspects of farming: crops, animals, driving and repairing equipment, seeding and harvest.
As I reflected on what the commercial triggered in me about my own experience growing up in a multi-generational farm family (my grandparents on both sides were also farmers), allow me to share some things I’ve learned from my farmer parents and about the farmer in me. The farmer in me has helped me succeed as a pastor–especially the last quarter of a century starting and growing a thriving church.
Discipline – I was taught how to work hard and to work long hours if needed. If you needed to get up early or stay up late, you did what ever was needed to get things done.
Selfless – My dad and mom showed me how to attend to the needs of others (animals, neighbors, etc.) above my own needs.
Competent – My dad knew his trade well. He was one of the very best farmers in the community. He even won a state-wide “Wheat Farmer of the Year” award. He could repair equipment. He designed and built farm implements and truck beds. He taught me to do everything with excellence.
Compassion – I learned to be attuned to my surroundings. To care for the land and to be compassionate toward birds, wildlife, and farm animals was the norm.
Character – I learned to keep my eye on the goal (usually a tree or a fence post) at the other end of the field so I could plow straight. I was taught to never cut corners. My parents taught me that the harder right way was always better than the easier wrong way.
The commercial concludes with, “To the farmer in all of us.” The ad not only made us think but it also made us feel. And in the end process of something as trivial as a Super Bowl commercial, it reminded us of important characteristics we should all desire to imitate. Regardless of your roots, may each of us live a little more like a farmer today.
QUESTION: What was your favorite Super Bowl commercial? Share it below.
As I write this post while watching the Super Bowl, everything is about success. Which of the Harbaugh brother coaches will be successful, Jim or John? Which team will be a success, Ravens or 49ers? Which commercials will be most successful? Will the Halftime Show be a success? By the time you read this, you will have made up your mind about what or who was or wasn’t successful.
Awhile back, I was asked by a young leader at our church, “When you look back over your life, to what would you attribute your success?” Since one of my missions in life is to help young leaders succeed, I really do try to answer such questions. While I’m still a work in progress, I am more than midway through my life and career so I can definitely point to some things that have helped me to succeed.
Here are several things I attribute my success to:
God’s grace – I can’t claim anything all that special about me. By birth, an Oregon farm boy. Really, I do not deserve the favor I have found. His grace has been amazing in my life. It’s really all about His grace and the opportunity we all have to receive it and flow in it.
Other People – A lot of people invested in me over the years. My parents. My high school principal. College professors. Pastors. Friends. Church Board members. Teammates. And, definitely, my wife. I’ve had lots of people in my corner over the years.
Purpose – I’ve generally known what I ultimately wanted to accomplish. I believe you hit a lot more targets when you have them in your sight. Sometimes it has been a few months or a few years down the road, but I’ve most always tried to keep some clear direction and purpose in front of me…as much as God will allow me to see at the time.
Intentionality – I have been very intentional about my life. After high school, I steadily pursued getting my education to prepare for ministry for seven solid years. I chased every opportunity I could find to learn more about what it would take to launch a fruitful church. And, in all other areas of life, I’ve been very intentional to stay balanced and healthy.
Perseverance – I’ve encountered plenty of storms and obstacles in my journey. By God’s grace, I have repeatedly refocused, learned valuable life lessons and continued to move forward.
Sacrifice – Success always has a cost. I’ve lost friends because I had to make tough decisions to live out my mission. I’ve let go of power, financial reward and position to see others lifted up.
Invest in Others – I’m committed to invest in next-generation leaders. I genuinely love helping other people succeed. That’s the purpose of this blog. My investment in others has always returned to me in multiplied abundance. They make me look even more successful.
QUESTION: How would you answer that question? Please share in the Comment section below.
One of my favorite bloggers, Ron Edmondson, had a title the other day that caught my attention, “Frustration Turned to Excellence.” Wow! I don’t usually use the words frustration and excellence in the same sentence. Not sure about you, but frustration is something I’m allergic to. I avoid it whenever possible. But really, I’ve been in leadership long enough to know that it comes with the job.
Edmonson goes on to say we can make a choice about our responses when we are faced with frustration. We can put our head down and get stuck in the muck and mess of our situation. We can point fingers and criticize our teammates for their failures. We can get all stressed out and threaten to throw in the towel.
Or, there is another possible response to frustration. We can harness the power of the frustration and turn it into something good. Instead of anger, we can analyze. Why did that situation turn bad? Was it a systems problem that needs fixing? Were there breakdowns in our communication that need to be corrected for the future?
Instead of criticizing our work mates or family members in our frustration, what if we carefully coach them to see the opportunities for improvement? How about brainstorming solutions to the problems to see if you might discover some game-changer that will make an incredible difference in the future? You could actually discover a super leader hidden among your team if you give them a chance to problem-solve.
Depending how you respond to your frustration, you might just break through to a whole new level of performance and excellence. Frustration could actually be a gift. It has the potential to push you forward at an accelerated pace. It all depends on how you handle it. You will never eliminate all frustration in your life but you can choose to see it as a gift and use it as fuel for positive change.
QUESTION: Do you have a story of when frustration became a gift? Share it in the Comment section.
Thurlowe Gingerich
I spent some time with my 83 year old father over the holidays. He was asking me a bunch of questions about how to better use the iPhone he bought last year. He thought he was bothering me by asking so many questions but I saw it as a blessing to have a dad who still wants to learn and grow in his later years.
The desire to grow is a wonderful aspiration. I get a bit annoyed inside when I hear someone say, “I’m too old to learn that” or “I know everything I need to know at this point in my life.” Really?
The desire to grow is an enormous benefit. We know that growth increases our sense of joy and contentment. It increases our self-confidence and sharpens decision-making. And it produces a depth of wisdom and understanding that impact the quality of our relationships. With all these benefits, who wouldn’t want to grow?
The problem usually isn’t the lack of desire for growth. It’s more often the lack of discipline. So often, people don’t grow until they are forced to by tragedy, loss or pressure. They lose a job, a spouse dies, or they feel the pressure of younger leaders moving past them in their career, so they push themselves to grow and try something new.
When life is going along smoothly, it’s easy to put our personal development on hold. The truth is, growth always requires surrender and sacrifice. If I want to grow as a leader, I must sacrifice having an abundance of leisure time for the sake of having adequate learning time. If I want to grow in my marriage, I have to push myself to listen better, care deeper, and communicate more intentionally. If I want to grow in my relationship with God, I must surrender the will of my flesh to pursue the desires of the Spirit. When I refuse to surrender or sacrifice I won’t have the margin to grow to my greatest potential.
King Solomon implies that growth is never free. He wrote in Proverbs 23:23, “Buy… wisdom, instruction and understanding.” We must always exchange something we value for wisdom, instruction and understanding. Growth will always cost you: time, money, energy, pain or greater humility. And the crazy thing is, when you pay the price, you value it even more.
QUESTION: What is one area of your life you plan to pursue growth in? Share it in the Comment section. Thanks!
Linda, my wife, was recently going through a coaching workbook she had been reading a few years ago and noticed her hand-written note in the margin, “I have been so used to being the ‘fed leader,’ now I am the ‘lead feeder.’” A second note in the margin read, “Ada, your death…has caused us to rise up.”
Ada Hostetler was a mentor and coach to my wife. Beginning as Linda’s cabin counselor at age 12 while at summer camp near Kidron, Ohio, Ada invested in Linda’s success as a girl, and later as a young woman, a mother and a leader. Some 43 years, later when my wife was 55, Ada ended her life-to-life investment in Linda at age 90. The final 23 years, they served alongside each other in ministry together as core members of a church plant in Cape Coral, FL.
Ada invested in many young girls and women over the years because she was a true coach—an expert at helping others shine. Her personal success was found in releasing others to succeed. At Ada’s death, Linda realized that she was now called to be more than a leader who was looking for the next feeding and coaching experience from the older generation. Linda recognized her role as a 50 something adult was to now be a leader who feeds others who are in the generation below her.
Now my wife is empowering the lives of young women in their 20’s and 30’s to succeed as moms, wives and leaders. She’s finding joy in helping others succeed. Linda’s taking all the things she learned from Ada and inspiring the next generation to transformissonal living.
The Bible is full of stories that describe what happens when a coach or mentor speaks into the lives of ordinary people, devoting time especially to those who show leadership potential. The short list includes: Moses with Joshua; Jesus with Peter; Barnabas with Paul; and Paul with Timothy.
You have something to offer the generation under you. You just need to have a mindset of fostering development and growth in the generation after you. I know some older folks who only lament or criticize the lack of certain values in the younger generation. Instead, what if every one of us made an effort to pour into one or more persons from a generation or two below us? We might just change our world, one life at a time. Maybe it’s time to become the lead feeder and not just the fed leader.
QUESTION: What are some ways you are investing in the next generation? Please share in the Comment section below. Thanks!
Limited edition cars, clothes and paintings are popular. When you have the limited edition, you feel special. You have something extraordinary. Something few others have. It’s distinctive. And you feel, maybe just a little superior.
I remember spending time in a Thomas Kinkade gallery that was managed by a friend. I learned a lot about limited edition paintings and prints. I learned they are numbered. The fewer for sale, the higher the price.
Time is one of those things that should be seen as a limited edition model. There is a finite amount of it. You can’t make more of it. There are only 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour, 24 hours in a day. The fact that time is limited, makes it incredibly valuable.
While you can’t create more time, you can make choices about what you do with the time allotted to you each day. You can use it well. You can use it poorly. You can maximize it or waste it.
What will you do with your time today? What will you do with the 168 hours you have been granted this week? You have something extraordinary. It’s precious. It’s irreplaceable. It is the ultimate limited edition. How will you invest it?
QUESTION: What is one thing you want to spend more time doing this week? Share it in the Comment section below.
When I walk through a cemetery, the most important thing on a gravestone is not the dates of birth and death. Forget the two dates. Just concentrate on the space between the two—usually a dash. What does that dash represent? What happened there? What did that life contribute? After the second date formed the final bookend of that person’s time on this earth, what was left behind?
In The Janitor, the book I’ve been reflecting on the past few posts, Bob (the Janitor) was in the hospital and very ill when he whispered to Roger (the CEO), “It’s not the number of years, but what you do with them that counts.” In other words, it doesn’t matter if you live 20 or 90 years. What matters is how you fill the space between the dates on your gravestone.
The sixth and final axiom that Bob’s wife Alice had passed on to him before her death was simple: “Leave a Legacy.” All of us want to be known for what we left behind more than what we took from the past. Will you leave more value behind you than what you’ve sucked up while on this earth?
Have you had one of those amazing days when you were incredibly busy, going fast and hard all day yet so much was accomplished? At nighttime you take a shower and get ready for bed and all the memories of the wonderful day are flashing through your memory. Your body is tired and exhausted but you know your rest is coming. You know that indescribable feeling of well-being, right?
That’s exactly how I think it will feel when we have fulfilled our legacy. We may not have a lot of energy left, we may be tired, but we are ready. Exhausted and happy at the same time. Spent and fulfilled all at once. Leaving a legacy behind.
What you are filling your days with right now is what you will be remembered for in the future. The choices you make today will determine the legacy you will leave tomorrow. Are you leaving the kind of legacy that you want to leave? If not, what is one thing you can change today?
QUESTION: What is one thing you want to be remembered for? Please allow us to be encouraged by your story so share it in the Comment section below. Thanks!
For decades, I’ve chosen to use the term “invest” instead of “spend.” I originally started to use the terminology of investing when I was contemplating advertising our newly-launched church in the community through youth soccer team sponsorships, direct mail and signs on the Little League field. Sometimes people looked puzzled and would ask, isn’t that an expense?
In The Janitor, a book I recently read, the fifth life-axiom shared is “Don’t spend; invest!” While we tend to think of spending and investing as a financial matter, it really relates to what I call the “Triple T” (time, talent and treasure). We must evaluate all our activities in life as either an investment or an expense.
Here’s an exercise: Try hitting the pause button and taking the time to reflect on your activity and the brain time that you are currently putting into a task or decision. Now try to fast-forward the activity a bit to imagine and visualize where your work (and maybe your stress) is heading. Finally, ask yourself whether the outcome has any significance. You can even take it a step further and ask yourself whether the upshot you are envisioning could have any eternal significance.
Your answers to this little exercise will tell you whether you are spending or investing. In the book, Bob explains it to Roger this way, “It is easy to tell the difference. Usually when we are focused on our own agendas, we are spending. We spend our time, money, talent, and so forth. But when we are focused on our God-given purpose, we are investing” (Chpt 12).
It helped me over the year’s to simply stop and ask myself these kinds of questions when I’m caught up in the busyness of life. Does the outcome of my activity help fulfill the purpose that God created me for? Does it have any eternally significant impact on someone else? This question isn’t just for pastors like me. Everyone has a purpose. Everyone can make an eternal impact. Our biggest challenge in life is to try to understand and fulfill that purpose. How are you doing with your investments?
QUESTION: What is one investment you’ve made? I would love to hear about it in the Comment section below.
