One of the most common complaints that I hear about churches and people who attend them is, “They are all a bunch of hypocrites.” As a long-time pastor, I agree. We all have some hypocrisy in our lives. It’s not just the people who attend a church or a synagogue.
I recently wrote about integrity—who we are when no one is looking. A hypocrite is the opposite of a person with integrity. Before we point the finger at others who have cracks in their integrity, think more closely about the word hypocrite. The New Testament section of the Bible was originally written in the Greek language. Hypokrites, the Greek word that we translate as hypocrite, literally means an actor or stage player.
In the tradition of ancient Greek drama, it was common for an actor to play several different roles in one performance. They would use a different carved wooden mask for each of the various characters they were playing. One mask might be smiling and one might be frowning. Everyone in the audience knew the different symbols. When an actor in the ancient drama needed to switch to a different role, he simply picked up a different mask and held it in front of his face. It was really pretty simple.
Don’t we do the same thing? For each situation and social circumstance we find ourselves in, we present our best act. We show ourselves in the best possible light—even if it isn’t completely honest, accurate or authentic. We tend to calculate who we think that particular group wants us to be and then we select the mask to play that character for them. The mask may change for those at work, our friends, those at our place of worship or when we are with our family.
It may be hard to see it in yourself, but each of us lacks integrity at some point or another. We even have phrases like “little white lies” to protect or justify this phony behavior. We want to keep it looking good on the outside.
Let me suggest two things that might help you to be more authentic:
Remember that integrity starts from the inside out, not the outside in. God wants to transform the inside of our hearts not just to dust off the smudges on the outside. Read Matthew 23:25-28.
Ask yourself, “What is your integrity worth?” It’s easy to respond, “it’s worth everything” but still shade your resume to get a better job. And that means your integrity is worth whatever that job pays. Or maybe you only exaggerate your stories to your friends so you get to be their hero. What is your integrity worth?
What if we all aligned ourselves so closely to God that we committed to living in a “No Spin Zone?” What if our behavior actually lined up with our beliefs? What if our “yes” was always yes and our “no” was always no? What if we didn’t switch masks for different scenarios throughout our day? What if we got rid of our masks and people saw the real you and me?
Integrity really does matter. I think we would all find ourselves receiving honor, trust and respect from the people around us in ways that we’ve never had before.
QUESTION: What helps you to live with authenticity? Please share it below.
“If you don’t have integrity, that’s all that matters. If you do have integrity, that’s all that matters.” Those words by Craig Groeschel in his book, Altar Ego, say it best. In my 34 years of leadership, I can’t think of much anything else that is more important in every single area of life. Integrity or lack of it, will make you or break you.
You don’t have to look very far to find plenty of examples of people who lack integrity: business, sports, politics, clergy and all the rest. Dishonesty is so normal that people are often surprised by honesty.
So if the lack of integrity is obvious, what is true integrity? Here’s a simple definition that Groeschel gives, “Practicing integrity means that your behavior matches your beliefs.” I’ve heard other definitions like, “integrity is who you are when no one is looking.” The bottom line is that your life seamlessly forms a united whole. There’s not a public life and a private life. They match. What you say actually matches what you do. Your lifestyle is integrated.
Just to make sure, personal integrity is not the same thing as your reputation. Your reputation is who other people think you are. Your integrity (or lack of it) is who you really are. Proverbs 11:3 says, “The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.” That’s true. We’ve all seen it.
How much is your integrity worth? If you don’t have integrity, you don’t have anything, but if you have integrity, you have everything that matters.
God intended you to be a person of integrity. To do this you must decide what your next step is if you are lacking integrity. What are you going to do to begin fully living your life of integrity? If you are living with integrity, then what are you going to do to maintain it?
QUESTION: What is one thing you practice to maintain integrity? Share it below.
“Never again” is a statement of regret, remorse, and lament. We use it to talk about foods we’ve tried, experiences we’ve had, places we’ve visited, relationships we’ve endured and more. Today, I use it to speak of an unimaginably horrific tragedy of modern civilization—the slaughter of 6 million Jews in Europe between 1933 and 1945.
Every year around the 27th of Nisan on the Hebrew calendar, I pause for two hours in the middle of a busy schedule to remember, to reflect and to repeat—“Never Again.” As one of a handful of Gentiles in a Jewish crowd, I’m honored to be invited each year to participate in the Annual Holocaust Memorial service in my community. I usually read a poem, say a prayer or speak about why I regularly take people to visit Yad Vashem, the Holocaust museum in Jerusalem. I treasure this opportunity as a Christian pastor (with a Jewish great-great grandmother) to be included in this most solemn Jewish remembrance service.
Again this year, I was thankful to slow down, stop and reflect in our fast-paced world and remember that if we want to know where we are heading, we have to know where we have come from. As this year’s speaker, Dr. Paul Bartrop said, “We can’t change our world history. It is what it is. But we can learn from it.” He went on to say, “Ignorance will triumph if we forget.” If our country or any other country insists on only one politically correct viewpoint, another holocaust is the potential result.
Each year, I meet interesting and memorable people. I’ve sat with Holocaust survivors and looked at the wrist-tattooed identification numbers inscribed by the Nazi guards at the Auschwitz Concentration Camp. I’ve listened to a Jewish widow as she showed me her wedding pictures that included Oskar Schindler (the subject of the award-winning 1993 Steven Spielberg movie Schindler’s List) as her husband’s best man. I’ve met the sons and daughters of parents who never made it out of the gas chambers and death camps.
“Never again” has been the mantra of many over the past sixty plus years. Most of us can’t imagine something so horrific as the murderous rampage that went on for more than a decade in central Europe while many stood watching silently or turning their faces the other way. We wonder how that can happen and so many be so complicit. Yet, since the Holocaust of Europe, we’ve had similar genocide tragedies in Bosnia, Rwanda, Darfur, Burma and recently in Syria. Not to forget—the brutal destruction of millions of unborn humans every single year right here in America.
Don’t forget. Every time we participate in or even allow ethic joking or bullying of someone who is different or weaker, it can reappear. The diseases of bigotry, hate, immorality and bloodlust have a way of infecting our culture and the symptoms manifesting in unexpected moments when we let our guard down.
Every time we value and worship our Creator and honor His precious creations, we are remembering. We are remembering that God loves each and every person of every race, gender and background. We are refusing to forget that God’s greatest commandment is to love Him with all our heart, soul mind and strength and to love our neighbors as we love ourselves.
QUESTION: How do you remember to value each person? Please share below.
What do you think is the most valuable land in the whole world? A diamond mine in South Africa? An oilfield in the Middle East? An island in the South Pacific? You really don’t have to be an expert on world-wide real estate listings to figure this one out. And, it may be something different than you are thinking of at this moment. But here’s what I think.
The most valuable land in the world is a cemetery. In rather small plots of ground all around the world, are buried unfulfilled dreams, unwritten novels, masterpieces not created, businesses not started, relationships not reconciled and plans never executed. That is the most valuable land in the world.
I don’t mean this at all in any kind of morbid way but I want to die empty. I know, that can sound a bit threatening to people in a culture that uses euphemisms like, “he passed away,” “he’s gone on” or “he’s in a better place.” But the reality is, we all die. None of us will be here forever. So, why should I die filled with all kinds of unused gifts and talents?
Todd Henry, author of the book, The Accidental Creative: How to Be Brilliant At a Moment’s Notice, wrote, “My only job—each and every day—is to empty myself, to do my daily work, and to try as much as possible to leave nothing unspoken, uncreated, unwritten.” Wow, that’s powerful! What if we all lived that way every single day? If this was my last day and I had just divested myself of everything that was in me, I guess I wouldn’t have any regrets then, would I?
What if you actually applied this principle of dying empty to every aspect of your life each day? What would it mean to apply it to your relationships? What about your work? Your creativity?
What do you need to do to empty yourself today? Is there some project that you need to begin that has been too overwhelming to get started on it? What small step could you take to get started? Is there some conversation you need to have but you just haven’t seen the perfect time yet? Why not pick up the phone? Is there an idea that you want to execute but there’s been no room to include it in your schedule? Why not just start moving on it today?
Life is really very short. So what will you do? Will you die full of unexecuted ideas and plans or will you die empty? It seems to me, it’s your choice!
QUESTION: What is one thing you need to empty yourself of today? I’d love to have you share it below.
What’s the most adventurous thing you’ve ever done? Skydiving? Bungee jumping? Moving to your dream location? Quitting your job and starting a new business that you’ve been thinking about for years? Trying a new hobby? Travelling to a far away country? Or ordering something new off the menu at your favorite restaurant?
My wife Linda ready to skydive!
An adventure is an exciting or unusual experience. It may also be a bold, risky undertaking with an uncertain outcome. Adventures may be activities with some potential for physical danger, financial, relational, spiritual or psychological risk.
My wife Linda and I are adventure junkies! We’ve gone skydiving. I’ve jumped headfirst off a 100ft. tower attached only to a bungee cord. We’ve been parasailing, whitewater rafting, hot-air ballooning, zip-lining and more. We’ve travelled in all 48 contiguous states. We’ve been around the world. We love adventure!
Yet, the most adventurous thing we’ve ever done is to move our three children over 1,000 miles away from our closest family members to a relatively new city, knowing only four other people who lived there, and deciding to start Cape Christian, a new brand new church that would reach out to young unchurched families in a contemporary way, helping them experience the fullness of God. That was nearly 27 years ago.
After just celebrating the 26th birthday of Cape Christian on Easter Sunday of 2013, we have been reflecting on the rewards of living a life of adventure. Here’s just a sample of our reflections:
We’ve Never Been Bored – When you live with adventure, there is always something new to experience. We have previously imagined some things we’ve seen but God always has a way of surprising us with new and fresh breakthroughs that supersede our greatest imaginations. We always love to anticipate what may happen next.
We’ve Always Been Alive – When you refuse to coast and get comfortable, you stay alive inside. If your life becomes so predictable that you are just going through well-rehearsed motions that you could do in your sleep, something inside of you begins to die. Adventure keeps your senses alive.
We’ve Always Been Rewarded – Our adventures have rewarded us with fruitfulness and a sense of fulfillment. We have experienced the joy of seeing transformation in the lives of others. We are watching young leaders grow to be exceptional leaders. We are now seeing a multi-generational harvest from seed that was sown with risk many years ago.
William Trogdon said, “There are two kinds of adventurers: those who go truly hoping to find adventure and those who go secretly hoping they won’t.” Which kind of adventurer are you? What are you doing this week that will make certain you don’t get bored, atrophied and shrivel up and die inside. Do you have anything adventurous on your schedule?
QUESTION: What kind of adventure brings you to life inside? Please share it below.
Oliver Wendell Holmes wrote, “We do not quit playing because we grow old; we grow old because we quit playing.” I totally agree. My granddaughters (ages 7 and 3) can play for hours and hours. Grandpa is worn out in minutes if it involves pretending to be Prince Eric with Princess Ariel of Little Mermaid fame. Yet, play as children and adults, is one of the very important things we can do to keep a healthy and vital life.
Granddaughters Analise & Rylee playing at our home.
Our culture tends to dismiss play for adults as unproductive, petty or guilty pleasure. The notion is that once we reach adulthood, it’s time to get serious. And often times, with all of our adult responsibilities of work and family, there is no time to play.
Play is just as pivotal for adults as it is for kids. The National Institute for Play believes that play can dramatically transform our personal health, our relationships, the education we provide our children and the capacity of our corporations to innovate.
Play is multi-faceted—including art, books, movies, sports, comedy, flirting and daydreaming. Dr. Stuart Brown calls play a “state of being” more than an activity. The activity may be anything from knitting to walking the dog.
Research proves that playing helps couples rekindle their relationship and explore other forms of intimacy. Play can facilitate deep connections between strangers. Play is a catalyst. A little can go a long way toward boosting our productivity and happiness.
Here’s some suggestions that will help you keep on playing:
Change how you think about play. Give yourself permission to play every day. It’s not just for lazy people or those who aren’t at the top of their game in the business world. It might be as simple as reading a non-work related book or going for a walk. It could be watching a humorous You Tube video like NASCAR driver Jeff Gordon in disguise taking a car salesman for a test drive.
Reflect on your play history. If you don’t have any current ways you play, start thinking back about what you did as a child that excited you. Did you engage in those activities alone or with others? Or both? How can you recreate that in some way today?
Surround yourself with playful people. Find friends that are playful and love to have fun. Play with your spouse or other family members. My wife and I love to walk to Starbucks or ride our bikes to a coffee shop on the water. We love to travel and see the world whenever possible. Taking a weekend to go somewhere out of the ordinary is fun. On special birthdays, we’ve gone hot air ballooning, parasailing and sky-diving.
Play with little ones. Playing with kids helps us experience the magic of play through their perspectives. Playing with your children or grandchildren, nieces or nephews is a place to start. I’m sure I’ll be playing a bunch more because our daughter is pregnant with twins, a boy and a girl!
My friend, Julie Baumgardner wrote, “Just as children need play to help them de-stress, adults need play to help them be at their best when it comes to career, parenting, and marriage. Instead of looking at play as a waste of precious time, consider it a great investment in your wellbeing.” What will you do this week to make sure you get some play time?
QUESTION: What kind of play works well for your health? Please share it below.
How do you gauge your humility level without becoming prideful? Is it possible to notice the growth of humility in your life and yet not become boastful? Can you be proud of your humility? Or is there such a thing as humble pride? Such an oxymoron, right? Sort of like jumbo shrimp, huh?
The wise King Solomon stated, “Humility is the fear of the Lord; it’s wages are riches and honor and life” (Proverbs 22:4). Scripture is instructing us here that humility can be recognized by a growing honor and respect for God. Changes in your relationship with God will impact your habits and relationships with others when it comes to humility and pride.
Today is the season of Passover on the Jewish calendar and Maundy Thursday on the Christian calendar. Both emphasize humility. The Matzah used in Jewish Passover celebrations is sometimes called the “bread of humility,” because it is unleavened with no yeast to make it rise and fluff up. Maundy Thursday commemorates Christ celebrating Passover by breaking bread with his closest followers in what we now commonly call the Last Supper.
However, the most powerful part of that final Passover dinner which Jesus shared with his disciples before his death on the cross is told in John 13:1-5. “It was just before the Passover Festival. Jesus knew that the hour had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end. The evening meal was in progress, and the devil had already prompted Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot, to betray Jesus. Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.” (NIV)
That’s radical behavior in 1st century mid-eastern culture. It must have been a confusing and convicting moment for those disciples. It shocked them. Foot washing was essential in their dusty environment and it was always assigned to the lowliest servant in the household. Yet in this situation, the most esteemed person in the room voluntarily took on himself the most despised of household jobs. This was an amazing demonstration of humility! Jesus practiced His teaching of becoming great by being the servant of all.
Jesus acted out of his confidence in who and whose He was. “Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God, so he got up…” At the same time, we read in Luke’s version (see Luke 22:24-30) that the disciples were jockeying for position and prestige at the Passover table. What a contrast. Humble people don’t have an inferiority complex but those with low self-esteem usually give a cocky false impression of who they are on the inside.
So how are you doing with this humility thing? Can you confidently serve the people around you? How will you unexpectedly surprise someone with an act of servanthood? Why not look for an opportunity to bless someone this Holy week with a simple act of service?
And the rest of us would love for you to have just enough pride in your act of humility to share your story in the comment section below. Thanks!
All professions, businesses, organizations and ministries have people who are clambering to get to the top. Some push and shove. Some step over the fallen and struggling. Some just show themselves to be superior in talent and gifting. One way or another, getting to the peak ahead of everyone else is the goal. Leadership is great. It’s important. It’s necessary. It’s an honor. It’s needed. But what if the way to the top was actually down?
The leader who changed the pivotal measurement of millenniums said, “Whoever wants to be the greatest of all must become the servant of all” (See Mark 10:42-45). Jesus rattled established leaders and wanna-be leaders with his declarations of this new model of upside down leadership. Even his closest followers struggled to change their patterns of trying to climb the ladder.
Jim Collins made popular the concept of the Five Levels of Leadership through his book, Good to Great. Collin’s research unexpectedly revealed the greatest companies are led by leaders who put their organizations in a position to do great things without them.
Who exactly is a Level 5 leader? Collins describes Level 5 leader as Humility + Will = Level 5. They are the nurturing leaders who do not want credit but want success to sustain over a longer period of time, long after they are gone.
Level 5 leaders are modest and possess the capability to transform an organization from good to great without portraying themselves as wizards with magic wands. They prefer talking about the organization and the contribution of other people but rarely about their role or achievements.
Leadership expert, Robert Greenleaf and others have identified this upside down approach as servant leadership. Level Five Leadership and Servant Leadership have in common the heart of a leader who walks and leads with humility. Mark Sanborn writes, “If you use your title to get things done, you’re not really leading.”
I’ve discovered that authentic leaders always rise to the top through influence, not authority. Influence is always a result of caring for those you lead instead of coercing those you lead. And true followers follow out of commitment, not compliance.
Here are some questions to ask yourself to determine if you are an upside down leader?
Are you constantly climbing the ladder or intentionally going down the stairs?
Is your greatest concern for the success of your organization or your own success?
Are you focusing your responsibility toward others in your organization or emphasizing their responsibility to you?
Do you look for ways to serve the least of your organization or expect them to serve you?
Are you most often bragging about yourself or other team members around you?
I close by reminding you what Jim Collins said, “It’s not that Level 5 leaders have no ego or self-interest. Indeed, they are incredibly ambitious–but their ambition is first and foremost for the institution, not themselves.” How are you moving toward the next level of leadership?
QUESTION: When have you seen Level 5 leadership in action? Share it below.
I remember when it first hit me. My definition of success was challenged and I needed to rethink it. I had just read the book, The Elephant in the Boardroom: Speaking the Unspoken About Pastoral Transitions” by Carolyn Weese and J. Russell Crabtree. The line that rattled me was, “One way or another, every church will eventually lose its pastor or minister yet few congregations prepare for this dramatic event.” Approaching age 50 at the time, I had not thought seriously about that truth.
My thoughts of success had previously been focused on whether or not the church was healthy, vital, alive, making a difference in the community and growing—spiritually, numerically and financially. I really hadn’t considered what would happen when I retired from the lead pastoral role. In fact, statics convinced me that my major vocational investment had a very slim chance of continuing to thrive and return dividends after I retired. Now I begin to consider a different definition of success.
If I was really a “Level 5” leader like my mentors John Maxwell and Jim Collins had challenged me to become, then “legacy is created only when a person puts his organization into a position to do great things without him.” Maybe I should rethink success. I did. I began to redefine my measurement of success in ministry based on whether the church I had started and was leading was continuing to grow, be healthy, remaining vital and thriving five years after I was out of the lead seat.
The new measurement of success made a difference in my priorities. My top priority became the development of a succession plan. I started by developing an emergency succession plan in case I was suddenly unable to lead the organization. I also started preparing myself for a transition over the next years. I did lots of reading, some soul searching, significant prayer, dialogued with trusted friends and looked at my leadership sweet spot and what I really was most passionate about. I began to envision my new dream role in leadership inside the church and in the community.
Four years ago this week, I made a public leadership transition. Today, I can clearly say it was a success. All of the measurements of health, vitality and growth of the organization are going up and to the right. My own sense of well-being and satisfaction has increased.
This is the launch of my several-part story. A 5-minute version of it can be watched along with many other succession stories at Leadership Network’s free online Succession conference today (March 26, 2013) at this link. You can watch it for free today at 1pm EDT or purchase the right to watch it on your own schedule.
QUESTION: Have you ever raised up a leader to succeed you in an organization? I would love to hear more about it in the Comment section.
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You might be wondering why I’m promoting an online conference for tomorrow. My wife Linda and I have the privilege of speaking at this conference via video to tell our story of leadership succession. So, go ahead and check out this link to Church Leader Succession so you can see what it is all about and register. We are very honored to be in the speaking company of some heroes and leaders that have impacted us over our 34 years of ministry.
Leadership Network is the outstanding organization which is sponsoring this conference! They have been a huge help in my journey as a leader and in the success and growth of Cape Christian where I am the founding pastor. The seminars, the articles, the books, the learning communities that I have been connected to have helped me to grow as a leader and to grow other leaders.
Halftime, another partner of Leadership Network (both founded by Bob Buford), has affected my life immensely. I highly recommend any of their downloadable materials, books, seminars and conferences through the above link. Halftime International Spokesman, Lloyd Reeb, has blessed me with many hours of coaching and encouragement during my succession journey.
During the next several blog posts, I’ll be sharing some of my succession story and the learnings from the experience. Stay tuned!
QUESTION: Are you planning to watch the Succession online event? Let me know in the Comment section. Thanks!
