Do you know the common link is between the second Sunday in May, the highest number of phone calls in one day, packed restaurants and Anna Jarvis? The connection goes back over 100 years. Mother’s Day is the touch point.
Joyce Gingerich, Dennis’ Mom
Anna Jarvis, an Appalachian homemaker nearly 150 years ago, organized a day to raise awareness of poor health conditions in her community. She believed this cause would be best advocated by mothers, so she called it “Mother’s Work Day.”
In 1905 when Anna Jarvis died, her daughter (also named Anna), began a campaign to memorialize the work of her mother. It is said that Ann remembered a lesson her mom taught at church where she said, “I hope and pray that someone, sometime, will found a memorial mother’s day. There are many days for men, but none for mothers.”
So Anna began to lobby prominent business and political leaders, including Presidents Taft and Roosevelt, to support her mom’s dream of a special day to honor mothers. In 1908, at her church in West Virginia, Anna organized a service to celebrate her mom and handed out her mother’s favorite flower, the white carnation. Five years later, the House of Representatives adopted a resolution calling for officials of the federal government to wear white carnations on Mother’s Day. Finally, in 1914, Anna’s efforts paid off when President Woodrow Wilson signed a bill recognizing Mother’s Day as a national holiday.
Linda, Dennis’ Wife
Over the last 99 years, Mother’s Day has progressed from writing letters to mom, attending church with her and eventually sending cards, presents and flowers. With the increased consumerism and evidence of the sentiment being sacrificed at the expense of greed and profit, Anna Jarvis became so enraged that she filed a lawsuit to stop a Mother’s Day festival. Before her death in 1948, Jarvis actually said she regretted ever starting the Mother’s Day tradition.
Mother’s Day has flourished in the United States. It is the most popular day of the year to eat out, telephones lines record their highest traffic of the year and over 9 million greeting cards were sent in 2012, making Mother’s Day the third largest in holiday card volume.
Charissa, Dennis’ Daughter
But beyond all the facts and history, this is the day to celebrate and honor mothers, motherhood, step moms, foster moms and the influence of any other mother figure in your life. Everyone has a mother. No exceptions. Some of us have the privilege of our mothers who still influence our lives. Some of you are mothers. Some of you have mothered someone else’s child. Some of you moms have experienced the pain of losing a child. The circumstances of your birth might mean you don’t know who your mother is. Maybe your mother is no longer living and this is a difficult day for you. Maybe you are not relationally connected to your mother and the thought of Mother’s Day stirs up more pain. I pray you will be able to express your appreciation to some woman who reflects the positive characteristics of a mom in your life.
For me personally, this will be a very special Mother’s Day. My mother Joyce is 80 and still living. My wife Linda of 38 years is the amazing mother of our two awesome sons and a very lovely daughter. My daughter in-love Lisa is a super mom to our two grand daughters. And to top it all off, that beautiful daughter of ours is a mother-to-be for the first time, carrying twins—our third granddaughter and our first grandson—due in August. It will be an extra special Mother’s Day in our household. May God bless your Mother’s Day celebrations!
QUESTION: What’s your best memory of your mom or mother figure? We’d love to hear it in the comment section below.
It was 27 years ago this week that our two-vehicle caravan pulled into town. With a loaded rental truck and our car trunk packed full, we were filled with anticipation, adventure and maybe just a tad bit of anxiety. There were no guarantees. Moving our family of five—with three children ages 10, 7 and 2, thousands of miles from our nearest family members was no small commitment. We only knew two other couples in our new location, but they were ready to go on the journey with us.
My wife Linda and I left our home communities in Oregon and Ohio to start a new church in Cape Coral, Florida. Following a call and a dream, we left the familiar to embrace the unfamiliar. We stepped out of our comfort zone to move into the unknown.
These mileposts on the journey are always a good time to rewind the video and to reflect on life, the journey, and the learnings. Here are few that came to my mind this week:
Awed but not Surprised – I’m frequently get asked if I’m surprised by the fact that a group of three couples has turned into over 1,800 people worshipping God on two campuses at Cape Christian every weekend. The answer is “no.” I’m not surprised because, as a leader with a clear mission, I made a lot of decisions and choices along the way to create an environment for this to happen. But I am always awed by the way God has been at work and how He has used our lives to start a movement that is transforming so many lives.
Short-term vs. Long-term – I think often of the decisions that were made to “let go of the good so we could go for the great” (Jim Collins). From restrictive structures to releasing strategies, from keeping control to giving away power, from small thinking to expanding our vision, I’m grateful we pushed out into new territory for the sake of the long-term rather than staying comfortable for the short-term. The results of long-term thinking has finally become obvious.
Perseverance and Patience Payoff – There are many examples that come to mind when I think back over 27 years of entrepreneurial church building. None is quite so obvious to me as the audacious decision to purchase 48 individually-owned properties to assemble a 3 city-block tract of 14 acres on a major thoroughfare. There were a few other large tracts of land to choose from at the time but none of them met the 3-point criteria of location, location, location. They were tempting because of the ease and quick possibility of having our own property. But the hard work of tracking down 48 landowners from around the world and convincing them to sell their parcel was well worth the 10 years of perseverance, patience and prayer.
Risk is Worth the Reward – Investing in next generation leaders can be a huge risk. It means a lot of mentoring, much trust, and letting go of the secure. Choosing to empower young less-experienced leaders to lead is always a challenge. Sometimes it meant losing good friends and supporters. I don’t have a single regret. Now, those young leaders are repeatedly hitting home runs. And the rewards of seeing the next generation catch the vision and expand it—there is simply nothing else as quite as exhilarating.
In your life right now, are there any areas where you need to take some risks, look at the long-term and persevere? What decision will you make today that will pay huge dividends 27 years from now?
QUESTION: Did you make a decision years ago that really paid off? Please share it below.
19% will go to their place of employment this week wishing they were some place else, according to research by the Society for Human Research Management. 81% of U.S. employees indicated overall satisfaction with their job in 2012. But much more alarming is a Gallup Management Journal article that claims only 29% of employees feel engaged in their work. The other 71% show up, but are psychologically absent and generally non-productive.
As one who has regularly loved my work 99% of the time over the last 34 years, I can’t quite imagine being motivated to get out of bed and go to work if I didn’t regularly experience satisfaction or engagement with my work. If only financial necessity drove my job choice or going to work at all, I think I would soon be disillusioned and discouraged.
I wonder if the stats above are at all related to a quote I read the other day by Psychologist William Marsten who said, “94% of people have no definite purpose for their lives.” I believe so. A lack of connection to what you do for a living usually reflects a lack of purpose and meaning in life.
In counseling hundreds of people over the years who are trying to discover and develop greater clarity and focus in their lives, I have noticed four attitudes toward work:
“It’s just a job.” – Show up, do the minimum and collect a check. No attachments to the role, company, ministry, associates or purpose.
“I do it for the security and stability.” – Some identification with the company and associates, but really there for the paycheck.
“It is my profession or trade.” – Provides some personal satisfaction and challenge, money is important, and identification with role and organization can be present as well.
“This is my purpose in life. I am called to do this!” – Using your gifts for the intent that the Creator has ordained while filling a need and getting paid for the service.
This is what I’ve noticed. When you understand and grasp your God-given purpose, you gain clarity and direction needed to:
- understand yourself
- recognize your gifts and your passions
- choose activities that align with your purpose
- experience real satisfaction in your job and life
When you are aware of your purpose, and you make decisions that are in line with that knowledge – you will be able to put your skills and talent to work in roles that maximize enjoyment, effectiveness and results. Are there any steps you need to take this week to make sure you are one of those experiencing purposeful work?
QUESTION: Do you have a clear picture of your God-given purpose? Can you share it in a sentence or two in the Comment section below?
Breaking News! A 75-year-old man starts a bold new ministry! He moved to a new country and started on an adventure that most 25 year olds wouldn’t likely tackle. Now, that bit of news is about four thousand years old. Most everyone acquainted with Jewish and Christian history, knows this most memorable dude!
Here’s the story. “The Lord had said to Abram, ‘Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you. I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you;
I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you,
and whoever curses you I will curse;
and all peoples on earth
will be blessed through you.’ So Abram went, as the Lord had told him; and Lot went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he set out from Harran. He took his wife Sarai, his nephew Lot, all the possessions they had accumulated and the people they had acquired in Harran, and they set out for the land of Canaan, and they arrived there.” Genesis 12:1-5 (NIV).
You may think it’s crazy for a near 60 year old to say this, but I really do hope that God is still calling me to something new when I’m 75. I really do hope he still calls me to walk by faith. I want him to stretch my small dreams into large ones. I long for him to motivate me to more than I could ever imagine. I don’t want to miss a moment of what God has for me in my life. John Barrymore expressed it well, “A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.”
I did what Abram did when I was 32. I moved my family to Cape Coral, Florida to launch a new church with only two other support couples. I’ve been privileged to be a blessing to others. And I never want to stop being used by God. There’s nothing better.
The month of May is known as Older American’s month as proclaimed by the Administration on Aging. Let’s celebrate the value, the accomplishments and contribution of older adults in our culture. Let’s find ways to honor older adults who have blessed us, mentored us and walked the journey before us. And remember what Mark Twain said, “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
But even more, if you are an older adult, don’t be afraid to be bold. Try something new. Take a risk. Do what God calls you to do. Let him stretch you and your dreams. For Abraham, at age 75, the best was yet to come. For me, I happen to believe the best is yet come. Count me in. How about you?
QUESTION: What is one area that God is calling you to take a risk? We would love to hear it in the comment section below.
Our three and half year old granddaughter, Rylee, stayed overnight recently. It was the first time she stayed alone at Grandpa and Grandma’s house, without her older sister. Grandma and Rylee painted their twenty fingernails blue.
When Rylee woke up in the morning, we were watching a squirrel on a tree outside the window. The squirrel stopped halfway up the tree trunk and stared in the window. Rylee was fascinated by the intensity of the squirrel’s stare. That’s when she proclaimed, “He is looking at me! He sees my blue fingernails.”
Out of the mouth of three year olds, emanate a lot of interesting thoughts. Yes, even truth. And definitely a glimpse of human nature. But somehow, I think it is more than toddlers who think the whole world is centered on them and noticing their newly-painted digits.
I sat in a local city council meeting for seven hours recently. Unfortunately, six of the seven hours was focused on the one agenda item—a proposed $150 annual tax increase—which was scheduled on the agenda before the hearing which pertained to our church. The council chambers were filled with a standing room only crowd. All of the media outlets were present. Extra police were hired to quell any unruly citizens.
I was amazed again how emotionally invested some citizens were in making sure this tax increase was shouted down. Everything was about them. They loved all the media cameras pointed at their “blue fingernails.” They loved the applause of their neighbors when they made rude and stinging digs toward the hard-working politicians on the dais. Many were willing to shade, misrepresent or just ignore the facts to make their self-focused point. It appeared some thought the whole world was interested in their particular viewpoint. And, I guess they thought the six hours arguing a $150 tax increase was worth it. I guess it is if you value your time at $25 per hour. I got a lot of work done during those six hours!
It seems to me that whether toddler or adult, we should always think more about others than just ourselves. We should look at what is good for the whole community rather than just our own household. And really, the squirrel isn’t looking at your blue fingernails!
QUESTION: What ways do you fight the temptation to think everyone wants to see your blue fingernails? Share below.
“One of us is wrong, and it’s definitely not me!” When you stop and think about it, that’s pretty much the attitude that starts every single conflict. Really! If I didn’t have that idea that I’m right and someone else is wrong, there wouldn’t be a conflict, would there?
So, given that the other person is sure you’re wrong, what are you going to do about it? Pointing out that they’re wrong doesn’t help, because now you’ve said the second thing in a row that your spouse / child / parent / customer / prospect / adversary doesn’t believe is true.
The thing that’s worth addressing has nothing much to do with the matter at hand, and everything to do with building credibility, attention and respect. Only then do you have a chance to educate and eventually persuade. Only then, do you have a chance to reconsider and come to the same conclusion as your opponent.
We solve conflict by building bridges, not burning them. Building a bridge permits education or dialogue or learning. When you burn that bridge, you’ve ensured nothing but conflict.
What are the things that build bridges in our relationships? Let me suggest a few for starters:
Respect From The Heart – Disdain, arrogance and condescension will always burn bridges. Listening attentively with eye contact and letting the other person speak without interruption will be sure to build bridges.
Reflective Listening – Clarifying questions, asking how the particular issue has affected them, and making sure you first understand the other person’s viewpoint is a great start to bridge building.
Replay What You Heard – It is always a great trust builder to replay what you heard the other person say and then let them correct you until you have heard it exactly like they meant it.
Rethink Possible Solutions – Brainstorm possible points of view beside the two conflicting ones. Look for balance between extremes and creative ideas that weren’t a part of either side’s original opinion or idea.
Resolution That Is mutual – Focus on the common agreement points that have come out of listening to each other. Come to a mutual agreement or at least an agreement to disagree.
Only seeking to “be right” is always wrong. Insisting on your way is not the right way to build healthy relationships. No one wants to hang around with or follow the leadership of a person who always has to be right. It’s the wrong way to build a thriving organization, a solid marriage or a network of friends. Building bridges will always get you further down the road than burning bridges.
QUESTION: What additional suggestions would you add for building healthy relationships? Please share them in the Comment section below.
In one of our guest bedrooms, my wife has a large treasure chest. It’s not filled with gold coins. This storage trunk is where she has always kept very important memorabilia—such as a 113 year old quilt made by her grandmother—since the beginning of our marriage over 38 years ago. On the outside of the canvas-covered trunk, are imprinted the initials M. M. for her maternal grandmother, Malinda Mann. This treasure chest is well over 100 years old.
Recently I read about a message given by Pastor Andy Stanley at Northpoint Church in Atlanta with this name, “Your Life is a Treasure Chest.” In his message, Stanley said, “You are a unique blend of experiences, successes, failures, and opportunities that make you a unique treasure. For you to have a life that counts, you have got to figure out how to leverage all of this for the sake of others.” I couldn’t agree more.
When I was in my early 40’s, I committed myself to pass on my life learnings to the generations behind me. Since that time, I’ve informally and formally tried to empty my treasure chest of valuables. Like your treasure chest, my failures, my successes, my life experiences, the combinations of good and bad, can all add value to those who are coming behind us.
You’ve probably heard some variation of this quote, “The measure of your life will not be in what you accumulate, but in what you give away.” That’s not only true of material things, but it is true of those valuables in your “treasure chest” of life experiences. And the older we get, the more our treasure chest grows!
Let me ask you, who could be benefitting from the treasure that is in you? Are you mentoring anyone? Have you taken inventory of your treasure chest to even know what you have that could bless someone younger?
And don’t forget to your tabulate your failures in the total tally of your treasure chest inventory. Stanley went on to say, “It’s your failures that in some ways makes you a better candidate to communicate to the generation that’s coming behind you.” People don’t just want to know about your successes. They want to make sure they don’t repeat your failures. When you think about it, others can learn far more from your failure than from your success.
So, who could benefit from all the great and not-so-great things in your treasure chest? Ask God to show you. What steps will you take this week to begin to distribute the wealth you’ve stored up?
QUESTION: What is one thing you want to share with the generation after you? Share your comment below.
If you were to stand before a couple thousand folks and speak after a week like this past one, what would you say? What would you talk about? Savage bomb blasts at the finish line of an iconic Boston sport’s event and a fiery inferno and chemical explosion at a fertilizer plant in West, Texas were the two main chaotic events that dominated our news channels 24/7 all week. Both rattled Americans—rural, small-town, suburban and urban. Both scarred our hearts. Both raised unanswerable questions.
Hot Air Balloon over Willamette Valley, OR with Mt. Jefferson in the background.
For more images captured by Dennis, go to www.GingerichPhotoArt.com.
How is it possible to experience internal calm and peace when circumstances inside our lives or outside us seem out of control? When people have cried over the death of children, the carnage of mangled limbs and the loss of first responders who were just doing what they were trained for, what kind of comfort and hope is there?
There are so many passages in the Bible to point you toward. The hope of the Psalms. The comfort of the prophet Isaiah. And, the words of Jesus in the Gospels. Here’s the scripture that I directed people to this weekend. These words of Apostle Paul were written while he was at one of the lowest points of his life—from a jail cell where he was held because he was practicing his faith.
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:4-9 (NIV).
These are the takeaways that I shared in my weekend message.
You Can Choose Joy – When you know God as Immanuel (meaning God with us), we can choose our attitude. (v. 4)
You Can Choose Gentleness – When you know God is near and in control, you can actually relax and let him handle the outcomes rather than stressing and striving to determine your own outcomes. (v. 5)
You Can Choose to Be Anxious Free – When you know God is with you, you don’t have to try to control the areas of life only He is in charge of. (v. 6)
You Can Come to God in Confidence – God invites to come before Him in prayer and to ask boldly for His intervention and help. (v. 6)
You Can Expect God’s Transcendent Peace – When you get to know God for who He really is as Immanuel, then you can make the above choices and the result will be hard-to-explain peace. (v. 7)
You Must Focus on God’s Traits – If you want to keep God’s incredible peace, then you can’t focus on everything negative going on around you, instead you stay zeroed in on God’s positive traits. (vs. 8 & 9)
God’s peace is attainable during chaos when we understand He is present in our world and grasp how much he wishes to be included and invited into our daily lives. My prayer is that this week will be filled with God’s presence and peace.
QUESTION: What helps you experience God’s peace in your life? Please share below.
If you’re trading in the ultimate for the immediate, then you will never reach the highest potential you were created for. The choice between the ultimate and immediate is always a challenge for both leaders and followers. It will make you or break you as a leader. It will either move the follower toward leadership or hinder you from becoming a leader.
A wise leader, King Solomon, said it in two different ways: “Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.” (Proverbs 16:32) “Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.” (Proverbs 25:28) Your choice of the immediate will cause you to take steps that will allow your desires to trick you into doing something destructive or, at least unproductive.
What would change in our world if, instead of trading the ultimate for the immediate, people learned to trade the immediate for the ultimate?
What could change in your life if you learned to give up something you love now for something you would love even more later? Would you become debt free? Would it improve your marriage? Would it change your relationship with your children or grandchildren? Would it possibly affect your long term career success?
At my stage and age of life, some of my greatest joys and my sense of satisfaction now is from previously making the difficult choices of going for the ultimate rather than the immediate. And the very few regrets I have can all be traced back to the easy choices I made to grab the immediate rather than wait for the ultimate.
Here’s what I’ve learned. When you know who you are, you’ll sacrifice what you want, in order to become the person God wants you to be. And, you’ll choose the ultimate over the immediate.
QUESTION: Describe a time when you sacrificed the ultimate for the immediate. What did you learn from your experience? Share in the comment section below
In the 1987 movie, “The Untouchables,” Sean Connery (playing Jim Malone) and Kevin Costner (playing Elliot Ness) are talking about how to take down the legendary gangster Al Capone. Sean Connery says, “What are you prepared to do?” Kevin Costner responds, “Everything within the law.” Connery counters, “And THEN what are you prepared to do?” It was a memorable moment in a movie with the tagline, “Never stop fighting till the fight is done.”
When you grasp the sober reality that the average length of life in the United States is 78.49 years (women 81.05 and men 76.05), most of you reading this blog are beyond the 39.245 halfway-point. So the question really is, “WHAT ARE YOU PREPARED TO DO?”
If you haven’t thought about or clarified your life purpose, when do you plan to take time to figure it all out? Do you have a clear sense of what God created you for? Do you know what on earth you are here for? Do you have a mission statement? Are you living it?
The most basic question everyone faces in life is, “Why am I here?” “What is my purpose?” Self-help books suggest that people should look within, at their own desires and dreams, but author Rick Warren says in best-selling “The Purpose Driven Life,” “the starting place must be with God and his eternal purposes for each life. Real meaning and significance comes from understanding and fulfilling God’s purposes for putting us on earth.” If you’ve never read the book, I suggest you join the 32 million people who have bought the book and read the short 1-1½ page chapters designed to be read over a 40-day period. Millions have been inspired to live with greater clarity and focus.
The big question remains—What are you prepared to do? Before you were born, God planned this moment in your life. It is no accident that you are reading this blog. God longs for you to discover the life he created you to live —here on earth, and forever in eternity.
What first step or additional steps will you take today to discover or clarify your purpose? If I fall into the average lifespan for a man, I’ve only got 17 years to go. I’m very grateful I figured out my life purpose on inspiring transformissional living years ago. How about you? What are you prepared to do?
QUESTION: Would you mind sharing your life purpose statement? Place it in the comment section.
