Over this past weekend, I had the honor to speak at the church of a long-time pastor friend who was out of town at a retreat with all of his staff. His video introduction of me as the guest speaker was glowing and made me sound like a great leader. I was honored by his talk about my 27 years of leadership and influence in the community.
After listening to the introduction video before each of the four worship services and then reading a post by one of my favorite bloggers, Mark Miller, I started thinking and reflecting about the biggest lessons I’ve learned in leadership. I could talk about countless lessons I’ve learned but here are just three that standout the most.
My Capacity to Lead is Determined by my Capacity to Grow. I’m grateful for people like John Maxwell and others who challenged me nearly three decades ago with the axiom—leaders are learners. While I already had 7 years of higher education and 7 additional years of experience under my belt, I realized I couldn’t rely on what I had learned in the past to help me to start and grow a new church. I committed myself to start growing my capacity to lead, to learn and to communicate. I still refuse to coast. I want to grow my capacity all the way to the grave.
Great Leadership is the Opposite of What you Tend to Think. Leadership is not about position, power, prestige and supremacy. It’s all about servanthood. The way to the top is from the bottom in God’s upside-down economy. Instead of taking, we give. Instead of self-indulgence, we self-sacrifice. Instead of going to the front of the line, we go to the back. It’s the opposite of what our culture screams.
Leadership is Not Either/Or But Both/And. I’ve been learning that leadership is a dance that balances extremes. It not just about results, but also about relationships. It’s not just hard-charging driveness, but also taking time to slow down and recharge. It’s not just being out front, but also learning to be a great follower. Good leadership that endures for the long haul is both/and.
Grow, serve and keep a good balance in life. That pretty much sums up my leadership success. How about you?
QUESTION: What big lessons about leadership have you learned so far? Share below in the comment section.
Love it or hate it, you always are. You are always leading. Seriously, even if you think you aren’t a leader, you are leading. People are watching. Leadership is influence. We are always influencing people by our actions, our attitudes and our words. Yes, you always are.
Think about it. Even when you stand in the check-out line at the grocery store, your words, your demeanor, your actions are influencing others in some direction. The question is, “in what direction are we leading?” Toward goodness… or away? Toward strong character… or away? Toward peace… or away?Toward God… or away?
Nowhere is this principle more apparent and amplified than in a celebrity-focused place like Hollywood. With “paparazzi” always on the scene, a star’s every move is watched by millions. And whether they want to accept it or not, people…especially young people …are following them, copying them. Their clothes, their tattoos, their behavior and the decisions they’re making.
The sports world is the same. When Charles Barkley was a professional basketball player, he made the now-famous declaration that he “wasn’t a role model”. He realized the weight of responsibility carried by a star player and tried to shuck it. He couldn’t. No one can. Sports star or not, we all are role models at some level in our particular and unique circles of influence.
As parents or grandparents, this principle should be front and center. Our kids or grandkids are always watching what we do. They’re watching how we handle pressure. How we eat, drink, exercise, rest and take care of our bodies. How we treat others. How we make decisions. How we handle conflict. How, what we say matches up with what we do. Like it or not, you are always leading.
As an active pastor in the same city for 27 years, I know a lot of people. Sometimes, it feels like I know way too many people! I know that I’m always leading. People are watching. Not that I really desire to live a double life. But there are times when I wish I could just drive like a jerk and know that no one would recognize me. I would love to go shopping just one time and not see someone I feel obligated to smile at and talk with. That’s why stay-cations don’t work for me. I need to get out of town to unwind, refresh and recharge my mind, body, spirit and soul. Because, I know I’m always leading. And, so are you. You always are.
QUESTION: What helps you to embrace your full-time leadership responsibility? Share it below.
I’m not sure where I first heard it. I’m not sure who first said it or who wrote it. It may have been Dr. John Maxwell. I’ve learned a lot of leadership stuff from him over the years. All I know is that over my more than three decades of leadership experience and observation, it is true: “Leaders can teach what they know, but they will only reproduce what they are.”
I’ve seen this inevitable and unavoidable principle displayed in all kinds of organizations —businesses, churches, non-profits, police departments and even nations. I’ve watched it hold true in families. Leaders can teach what they know, but they will only reproduce what they are.
Whether leading a family, a business or a congregation, what we say has less impact than what we do. Our actions speak louder than words. We harvest what we plant. We can teach commitment, integrity, compassion and more. But honestly, those who follow us for very long will soon know if we really mean it and practice it.
I’ve watched parents show unbelievable disrespect to their child and then turn around and discipline that child for denigrating another person. I’ve observed store-owners critique an employee about how they handled a customer but after watching and listening to how they treated their employee, I know why the employee did what she did. Leaders can teach what they know, but they will unavoidably reproduce what they are.
This leadership principle is a wonderfully positive truth that inspires me. At this age and stage of life, I love to see my leadership DNA in the organization I started and have led for many years. It is so rewarding to me when I hear a young leader passing on something I modeled for them years and years ago. It doesn’t get much better.
This reproducing-what-you-are norm can also be a frightful reality. Which is it for you? When you realize those you lead will become what you are, does that thought bring relieved confidence or nervous apprehension? Let me ask you, do you want to reproduce your character, your passions, your qualities and your commitments? If not, what do you need to change today so you reproduce something different in the future? Remember, leaders can teach what they know but they will inevitably reproduce what they are.
QUESTION: What is the top thing you want to make sure gets reproduced by those who come behind you? Share it below.
The other day I read a tweet by Michelle Nelson-Schmidt. It said, “What we do in this life, all of it, is as important as curing cancer.” Michelle is a children’s book author and illustrator. Her main point was if what you are doing matters to you, it matters. It matters a lot. It matters a whole lot!
I’ve met a lot of people in life who are almost ashamed of their job, their career, and the role they play in the everyday work-world. They apologetically say, “It’s not like what I do is curing cancer.” They basically are saying it doesn’t matter much. It’s not that important. It doesn’t make any difference or impact. It pales in comparison to the work of others. And, frankly, I think that kind of attitude leads to purposeless, unfocused, mediocre, sloppy and sad living.
Whether you are a chef, cop, clerk, carpenter, cable splicer, counselor, cantor, carpet cleaner, chiropractor or casket maker, what you do matters. Do not think your dream or passion is too small or mundane. We all have something to share. We all have gifts and talents. We all have something we are really passionate about. Discover it. Do it. When you are living out your dream, everyone around you will be blessed and encouraged.
An old adage says “If you love what you do, you don’t work a day in your life.” That’s true. It’s absolutely true. I know from experience. And, the best way to describe hard work when you love it, is Heart Work. That’s it. Heart work. It’s work that comes from the heart. You love it so much you would do it for free if you could somehow pay your bills another way.
What you do in this life matters. And your passionate heart work will matter to others in ways you cannot begin to imagine. Now go find your heart work.
QUESTION: What is your heart work? Please share it with the rest of us. Thanks!
Mark Twain said, “The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why.” We love births. We love birthdays. We celebrate them every year. That birth date is a key identifier on every official document. It scripts everything about us—eligibilities for starting school, driving, benefits and privileges. But what about that second most important day?
Finding, knowing and understanding our purpose is key to a fruitful and significant life. Yet, so many people spend years, decades and even lifetimes without understanding the “why” of life. We spend a lot of our lives making sure we know the how, what and when but very little on knowing why. Finding one’s purpose for being born is really the deep inner cry of every soul—whether you realize it or not.
Awhile back, I wrote the blog post “Rediscover Your Why.” Whether an individual, a business, a church, or an organization, knowing the why is critical to success. I referenced a great book by Simon Sinek, Start With Why. Check it out.
So, my questions to you are:
Do you know the “why” for which you were born?
Are you aware of the purpose for which you were created?
Are you fulfilling that purpose?
If not, what are you doing about discovering it?
My friend Steve Spring recommended Peter Cooke’s book, One Big Thing as an excellent resource for figuring out why you are here and what God created you to accomplish. Another popular best seller that has helped a lot of folks address this important issue is Rick Warren’s Purpose-Driven Life. And of course, don’t forget the top seller in all history, The Bible.
This week, what is the one step you will take toward understanding and celebrating that second most important day of your life?
QUESTION: What suggestion would you add to this? Please share it below. Thanks!
While at a recent family reunion in the heart of the world’s largest Amish community in Ohio, I had an opportunity most tourists to the area would pay big money to experience. We had dinner in an Amish home and we had an outdoor picnic with another group of Amish friends.
Of course, the photographer in me seeps out of my pores as I drive the local Holmes County back roads and I just can’t resist doing some sort-of discreet “drive-by shootings” as seen in the pictures here. And, in those moments, I sometimes yield to temptation and just blatantly act like a tourist, hoping they won’t recognize me as being connected to my wife Linda’s kin, the Augsburger family.
Here’s the deal. Linda’s family bought 37 acres (for $700) in the heart of Amish country the year she was born. While growing up, this land was a place for her parents and family to get away from the rigors of starting two cross-cultural churches in the heart of Youngstown, OH over 30 years. In their retirement years, Linda’s parents built a home on the property and lived there another 20 plus years until needing the benefits of a nearby retirement community. So, my wife’s family has built a lot of relationships with their Amish neighbors over the past 58 years.
Now you have the background as to why and how our family reunion included up close and personal interactions with some very wonderful Amish folks. Here are a few things I’ve learned about life through interactions with the Amish.
Faith is More Than An Hour or Two a Week. What they do and how they do it is pretty much always rooted in the spiritual question: What is pleasing to God? I come out with a different answer on many things but I also want to make sure faith infuses my entire life.
Family is to Be Cherished. A family that works together, grows together. Children are included in all of Amish life—farm work, barn raisings and three-hour church services. Involving children in all activities my not be most efficient but the benefits are eternal.
Convenience Comes with a Cost. The Amish don’t want to be dependent on outside sources such as electricity and gas. They believe convenience means the loss of something valuable. That’s why we love their completely homemade meals over fast food—the taste, the flavor, and the nutrition.
Nothing Replaces Face Time. The Amish bishops made a decision to keep the telephone out of the house because they didn’t want to interrupt family life. They avoid technology so they can have authentic face time—a face-to-face conversation. They would cringe watching families send text messages to each other while in the same house.
Honor the Sabbath. I’ve never seen an Amish person working in the field on a Sunday. They cherish a break from their work. They use that day to reconnect with God, with self and with family. It is a time to recharge the batteries. A time to re-energize.
No, the Amish aren’t perfect. I don’t plan to join them. Some things they do seem so disconnected from modern culture that it borders on the absurd. But, we can and should learn from them. It would enable us to live with healthier intentionality and build stronger relationships at every level.
QUESTION: What would you add to this brief list? Please share it below.
Just in case you missed them, here are the top five posts for the month of June. The biggest surprise to me is the Valentine’s Day post is still running at #4 several months past February. It seems that search engines keep directing people to the blog. However, I’m not so surprised that The Bamboo Principle was at the top.
I always appreciate it when you share my posts with others via the social media buttons at the top and bottom of each page. Thanks!
Top 5 for June:
Enjoy the ones you missed and share the ones that inspired you the most!
QUESTION: Which one of these top five inspired you the most and why? I’d love to hear your comment below. Thanks.
My wife Linda and I just returned from vacation. For several days, we stayed at A Valley View Inn of New Bedford—gathered for a reunion with my 92 year old father in-law and Linda’s siblings and some of our nieces and nephews. During our Ohio stay in the middle of the Amish-saturated countryside, our iPhones indicated “No Service” the entire time. No phone. No email. No text messages. No internet. No social media. No blogging. Nothing. Not even a television. We were unplugged.
It was a little disconcerting at first. What if someone needed to reach us? What if our twin-laden pregnant daughter went into labor? What if my neighbor needed to reach us about something happening to our home? But it only took a day and it was mostly relaxing.
I say “mostly relaxing,” because there were some initial electronic withdrawal symptoms. I wanted to check the weather forecast. I wanted to read the electronic newspaper from back home. I wanted to post some newly captured photos on Facebook. I didn’t. I couldn’t.
While I was unplugged from my normal links to my daily world, I was connected. I connected to our extended family. I talked. I listened. I laughed. I enjoyed the early morning harmonies of songbirds. I enjoyed my hobby of photographing the birds. I listened to the clip-clop of Arabian horses pulling Amish buggies on the road nearby. I connected to God, self and others.
Here are a few quick reflections on the experience:
Once I got past the first 24 hours, I stopped the habitual looking at my phone to see if there were any new emails or voicemails.
My attention span increased. I found it easier to keep focused in conversations with family members.
I found a sense of relief from the pressure to constantly read and respond to emails or Facebook messages.
I felt my emotional and physical tank being refilled as I disconnected from the things that drain me and connected with the things that refuel me.
If you haven’t ever deliberately unplugged for a specific period of time, I encourage you to do so. Even if you can only manage forty-eight hours, it’s worth it. Trust me, you need it more than you think. We all do.
QUESTION: Have you unplugged recently? Share briefly one thing you learned.
Most of us Americans love to work. Or perhaps we’re afraid not to. A 2010 survey indicated that the average American accrues 18 vacation days and uses only 16. The average French worker takes more than twice the vacation time. Okay, what goes through your mind when you read that statistic?
To some, the difference between American and European workers is made clear through this little statistic of who works more. We’re productive. They’re lazy. The truth is, it might say the opposite. Europeans understand that breaks improve workplace efficiency. We mistakenly believe that more hours will always increase output, while ignoring the clear evidence: The secret to being an effective worker is not working too hard. Really. I’m not kidding.
Back in the 1920’s, Henry Ford discovered that productivity returns increased in his automobile factory when he reduced the workweek from six days to five, and 48 hours to 40. Ford said, “We know from our experience in changing from six to five days and back again that we can get at least as great production in five days as we can in six.” Ford’s insight 90 years ago is part of a long tradition of productivity-obsessed Americans.
Numerous studies have shown that productivity increases when we take breaks throughout our day and when we take vacations. Over 25 years ago, Pastor Rick Warren challenged me to “divert daily, withdraw weekly and abandon annually.” Small breaks improve concentration. Long breaks replenish job performance.
Clinical Psychologist Francine Lederer wrote, “The impact that taking a vacation has on one’s mental health is profound…most people have better life perspective and are more motivated to achieve their goals after a vacation, even if it is a 24-hour time-out.”
The bottom line is, breaks are better for our brains than overtime. Where you get your break — from a half hour doing social media while having lunch, a day in the park, or a week on vacation with your family — doesn’t matter so much as that you get it.
I’m going on vacation this week. We’ll be spending a couple days in Jacksonville with our daughter and son in-love, helping them set up cribs, changing tables and more to get ready for their soon-to-be-born twins. And then we’ll be driving to Ohio to reconnect with my wife’s 92 year old father and her siblings at a bed and breakfast in the heart of Amish country.
Maybe I can learn to slow down from the Amish. Since we will be having two different meals with Amish neighbors, I think I’ll ask how they manage to get so much done? I’ll report what I find out on a later blog — of course, after I get back!
QUESTION: Are you planning to take a vacation this summer? Do you mind sharing about it?
At my home growing up in Oregon, the third Sunday of June each year was always at least one celebration. But sometimes, it was a three-for-one deal. If that third Sunday happened to fall on June 21st, it was my dad’s birthday, the first day of summer and Father’s Day all on the same day!
After hearing a sermon at her church about Mother’s Day, Sonora Smart Dodd told her pastor she thought dads ought to be honored in a similar way. Sonora wanted to honor her father, Civil War veteran William Smart Jackson– a single parent who raised six children. She suggested her father’s birthday, June 5, as the day to honor fathers. But her pastor wanted a bit more time to prepare his sermon so he gave the first Father’s Day sermon on the third Sunday of June. Father’s Day was first celebrated at the YMCA in Spokane, WA on June 19,1910.
The first introduction of a bill in Congress was 1913 and President Woodrow Wilson tried to push it forward in 1916 and again President Calvin Coolidge suggested a national holiday in 1924. But a national proclamation always fell short for fear of commercialization (think tacky ties) of Father’s Day. It wasn’t until President Lyndon B. Johnson was in office in 1966 that he proclaimed Father’s Day as a National holiday on the Third Sunday of June and it became law under President Nixon in 1972.
Father’s Day is one of those bittersweet days in our current American culture. It’s sweet when you have an honorable father to honor. Even if it’s an honorable father who is no longer living, good memories bring warm feelings of comfort and peace.
However, most of us are aware of the bitter reality—many in our culture do not or have not had meaningful relationships with their dads. Absentee dads are an epidemic. Uninvolved dads are common. If that is your experience, I do pray you will find help and healing to move forward.
The truth is, caring, connected and compassionate dads are so vital in the healthy development of kids. If you did or didn’t receive such fathering, you have an opportunity to make a difference in the next generation. You can invest with intentionality in your own children or grandchildren. Or you can spend yourself on behalf of the fatherless kids right here in our own community. If you live in Southwest Florida, organizations like Not in My City (www.NotInMyCity.org) will help you mentor an underprivileged child in a Lee County school. Big Brother/Big Sister (www.bbbssun.org) would welcome you to mentor a child without an active dad.
This Father’s Day, whatever your story, pledge to express appreciation to your dad or some man in your life that modeled integrity, grace, strength and influenced you in some positive way. And if you are a dad, recommit yourself to connect with and invest in your children, young or old. Happy Father’s Day!
QUESTION: Do you have any memories to share from your father or another role model? Use the comment section below.
