The feedback from posting “Most Admired Leadership Qualities,” was excellent. I shared the seven most-admired characteristics in a successful leader: integrity, servanthood, visionary, innovative, humility, persistent and balanced. At the suggestion of readers, I am now addressing them one by one. This is about servanthood.
Leadership is frequently about pyramids, org charts and chain of command. It’s usually top down. Authority and position. Some are important and some not so much. Who is over whom? Who gives direction to what? Effective leadership that is highly admired and followed—it’s different.
I volunteer in an organization where the leader isn’t afraid to get dirty with the troops. I’m a police chaplain. Our chief will quite frequently join the overnight shift and he will make traffic stops and take the role of back-up officer to calls for service. Some citizens (and employees) are quite surprised by his out-of-the-dark appearance. The community normally only sees the chief in the media speaking on behalf of the department. But he intentionally connects with the every-day lowest ranked cops who are protecting our city while often unseen, unappreciated and unrecognized. I call that leading from the bottom up.
When I think of servanthood leadership, I don’t think of a leader who spends all of their time doing menial work or a chief who only does the work of a patrol officer. I think of a leader who has an attitude that no job is too low for them and is willing to pitch in where needed. While use of one’s unique leadership gifts should never be wasted, mindsets of “I don’t do that stuff anymore” or “that’s for the rookies” is not the thinking of great leaders. Great leaders will do whatever it takes to move the organization forward.
I’ve discovered that authentic, effective and admired leaders always rise to the top through influence, not authority. Influence is always a result of caring for those you lead instead of coercing those you lead. And true followers follow out of commitment, not compliance. (See Upside Down Leadership).
Leadership is not about position, power, prestige and supremacy. It’s all about servanthood. The way to the top is from the bottom in God’s upside-down economy. Instead of taking, we give. Instead of self-indulgence, we self-sacrifice. Instead of going to the front of the line, we go to the back. It’s the opposite of what our culture screams. (For more).
Servant leadership is not focused on power, but it is powerful. It is not focused on making sure you are at the top, but it will cause others to want to move you to the top so they can follow you. It starts at the bottom, and regardless of where you are on the org chart, you have a heart that stays at the bottom.
QUESTION: What would you add to the qualities of a servant leader? Please share them. Thanks!
After recently posting “Most Admired Leadership Qualities,” a young 20-something leader wrote on my Facebook page, “Such a solid word. Dennis the danger is you put it so simply that it’s easy to miss that this is a lifetime of wisdom on one page. Maybe you should do a series, one post on each one of these topics. I’d certainly read it.” I’m going to do exactly what Caleb suggested.
The seven most-admired characteristics in a successful leader that I shared are: integrity, servanthood, visionary, innovative, humility, persistent and balanced. I placed integrity first because without it, nothing else matters much.
I’ve heard many definitions of integrity, but the one that has stuck with me is simply, “Integrity is who you are when no one’s looking.” Not sure who to give credit to but this definition works for me. Any leader who flourishes for the long term will have integrity. In a previous blog, I quoted Craig Groeshel from his book, Altar Ego, “If you don’t have integrity, that’s all that matters. If you do have integrity, that’s all that matters.”
Integrity is being who you say you are even when no one is watching. You tell the truth and nothing but the truth. You follow through with the commitments. There’s congruency between outer and inner. Yes is yes. No is no. You are real. Authentic. Not playing the part. No masks. Transparent. There’s a shortage of such people in our world.
I recently walked into a local business to rent a vehicle. Two employees were at their desks as I walked up to the counter. One lady got up and headed toward a back room while looking at her phone. The other lady watched her phone screen as she headed for the bathroom. (Honestly, I did shower that morning and didn’t munch on any garlic.) The one who got up first, said to the other, “why don’t you help him (referring to me) because I’m handling a work situation.”
In response, the employee heading to the bathroom, threw her phone toward her desk and missed as she stormed back to the counter to help me. Composing herself, she gave me a big smile and said, “How can I help you?” Even when I was watching, their was a major discrepancy — the words didn’t match the body language. That’s an integrity problem!
Neither of the employees considered me to be their priority. One “dumped” me on the other with a snide comment that implied the other was doing personal stuff on her phone. The other one was seething with anger that she got stuck with helping a customer. When I commented on the possible damage to her phone, she mumbled something about the fact she was trying to handle a jury summons. I guess I really did interrupt something much more important than renting a vehicle—which would help to pay their salaries.
But honestly, who am I to judge? I’ve demonstrated duplicity in my life. I’ve faked my way through serving someone with a smile on my face while inside I was annoyed the person interrupted my busy day.
It’s a reminder to live with integrity at every level. Our customers, our clients, our followers, our parishoners and our co-workers much prefer authenticity and realness. After all, it is one of the distinguishing characteristics of a great leader!
QUESTION: Do you have other definitions of integrity to offer? I’d love to hear them.
As a leader who is passionate about developing younger leaders, I often think about the most important things that I want to pass on and impart to emerging leaders. In my experience, there are certain leadership qualities that attract others. Not a “flash in the pan” kind of attraction. Not the super high-octane personality that draws a quick crowd. But the type of leadership which is followed the closest over the long haul.
In my experience and opinion these are the seven most admired qualities of leadership in today’s world:
Integrity – You are who you say you are even when no one is watching. You tell the truth and nothing but the truth. You do what you say you will do. You follow through with the promises you’ve made in a timely manner. Yes is yes. No is no. You are real. Authentic. Transparent.
Servanthood – A willingness to be a blessing to others even if they never do anything for you. You compassionately think more of other’s well-being than your own.
Visionary – You are able to see beyond today. You can paint a picture of the future that creates interest and passion in others. You make people discontent with where they are so they will endure challenges to get to where they could be.
Innovative – You find new ways to do things. You don’t settle for status quo. If one way doesn’t work, leaders figure out another way. You lead people to do things better than they’ve been previously done.
Humility – It’s not about you. It’s hard to remember that when you are a successful leader, but really, it’s not all about you. Readily own your mistakes. People will value your leadership in proportion to the value you demonstrate for those who follow you.
Persistent – You know how to stick with it through the challenges, the obstacles and storms of life. Leadership is never for the faint-hearted. Perseverance, tenacity, determination and grit always standout in a microwave, fast-food, easy-come easy-go, undisciplined culture.
Balanced – You are healthy in every way. You don’t just work hard, you know how to play hard. You don’t just focus on your career, you put as much effort into your marriage and family. You don’t just watch the bottom line on the financial reports, you also pay attention to your physical, emotional, relational, mental and spiritual health.
If you are an aspiring leader or an experienced leader, take a few moments of reflection to evaluate which of these characteristics are highly visible in your life? Which ones need to be added? Which ones need to be strengthened?
QUESTION: What have I missed that should be added to this list? I’d love to hear from you in the comment section below.
In the chaotic days after Superstorm Sandy hit the Mid-Atlantic coastline, an army of first responders streamed into the flood-ravaged area. Police, Fire, Red Cross volunteers, National Guard troops and others went door to door looking for anyone who needed help. Yet they missed a tiny construction trailer rusting away on Rockaway Peninsula.
Five months later, an acquaintance finally missed Keith Lancaster and went looking for the quiet handyman. He found Keith’s partially skeletonized remains in that dilapidated construction trailer, the 44th victim who died in New York City because of the storm.
I was saddened when I saw the blurb on a news website. I found it hard to believe that no one really noticed that Keith was missing. To be so easily forgettable, that no one realizes you aren’t around until five months later? Hard to fathom!
Unforgettable is more than a hit song recorded by Nat King Cole. Deep inside all of us, we want to be unforgettable. I can identify several people in my life that I would characterize as unforgettable. Unfortunately, a few of those were unforgettable for the wrong reasons. But most, for all of the right reasons. Who are the unforgettable people in your life—those who made a difference and inspired you to become who you are today?
Perhaps the more important question—who would say YOU are one of those unforgettable people (in a positive way) in their life? This is not a question focused on ego and pride. It is a question about authenticity, integrity and intentionality.
Unforgettable people don’t live for themselves. They are legacy-builders, not personal-kingdom builders. They understand God’s design that we are blessed to be a blessing. Let me suggest four characteristics of unforgettable people.
Wonderfully unforgettable people are:
Humble – Everything in their life points to serving others, lifting them up, encouraging and blessing them.
Authentic – Nothing phony or hypocritical about the person. If they are wrong, they acknowledge it and ask for forgiveness.
Consistent – This is about integrity. The do what they say they will do. They practice what they preach. What you see in public is who they are in private.
Investors – They pour into others. They mentor, they teach, they give away the “secret sauce” recipe. They love to find ways to make others look better, feel more confident and get the credit.
So who will one day list your name among those unforgettable people God used to bless them? Is your life the kind of unforgettable that honors God and leaves a legacy you and He will be proud of? If not, what is one thing you can do today to begin to change that?
QUESTION: What other characteristics would you add to this list? Please share them below.
I made a numb-brain mistake the other day. We were staying at our daughter and son in-love’s while she was in the hospital birthing our twin grandbabies. I wanted to vacuum their floors before she brought the babies home from the hospital. The filter/dirt container on the sweeper was nearly full so I took it outside to empty it. The interior garage door automatically locked behind me. I patted my jean pockets and felt only some coins.
I was in a dilemma. My cell phone was inside the house. My car was in the driveway and locked. The car keys were inside the house. All the doors and windows of their house were locked. The hospital was several miles away–definitely too far to walk. I didn’t know of any hidden keys and I had no phone to call my son in-law or daughter to ask if there were any secret ways to get back into the house.
I was contemplating solutions. I walked over to a neighbor’s house in the cul-de-sac that had a car in the driveway. She answered the door. I explained. She gave me her cell phone to use and I called my wife. I waited. My wife delivered a set of keys from the hospital and let me back inside.
I decided I better find the house key and put it in my pocket so this foolishness wasn’t repeated. I looked in all the places I might have left it. It was missing. I checked my pockets – this time I actually put my hand inside. Behold!!! The missing house key was in my pocket. Yes, it was there the entire time.
Sometimes there are other situations in life that are similar. We have the solution, the answer, the key—right in our pocket the whole time. We just don’t use it for one or more of the following reasons:
We fail to thoroughly assess all our options. This is what I did. I wasn’t thorough. I never actually put my hand in my pocket to find the key among all the loose change in my pocket. I missed the most obvious option available to me.
We panic and get tunnel vision. Some times we get into a predicament and then we loose our peripheral vision. We only focus on the quandary we are in. We don’t look at the 360 picture. We overlook the options that might be available to us. This is why the counsel of other wise people is very important at times like this.
We get paralysis by analysis. Some of us are more prone to this than others are. We get in a tough spot and then spend so much energy trying to analyze all the options to get out of the difficulty that we are immobilized. I could have sat waiting for someone to come to my rescue but I decided to go ring a neighbor’s doorbell.
What area of your life are you stuck, stymied, at an impasse? Have you assessed all your options? Are you reacting too quickly or overreacting? Are you so obsessed with analyzing all the possibilities that you are experiencing paralysis? And by the way, have you thoroughly checked your pockets?
QUESTION: What have you found to be helpful in resolving a dilemma? Please share in the comment section below.
Sometimes you get to see your legacy, sometimes not. As a pastor for 34 years, people have come and gone. Sometimes you see the spiritual legacy of transformation from your ministry influence. Occasionally, you wonder if you have really made any difference. Mostly, I’m blessed to see a visible legacy. Especially, I’m seeing my family legacy unfold.
My one-day old grandson clasping my finger.
This week, our baby, had twin babies. She is our 30 year-old baby. She is our youngest of three. Our sons are 34 and 37. And, we already have two delightful granddaughters that are nearly 4 and 8. But, this week we saw our legacy in a new way. Our athletically gifted, career focused, hard-charging, full-speed ahead daughter is a wonderfully caring and loving new mommy. She constantly adores and expresses her love for her new son and daughter.
Charissa and son, Noah
You see, the girl who never wanted to do baby-sitting as a teenager but spent all of her free time on the soccer field training for a full-ride college scholarship, frequently verbalized self-doubt about being a good mother. During her pregnancy, Charissa had difficulty visualizing her role as a mother. Her husband Jonathan reassured her she would be a fantabulous mother. She is. It’s clearly visible in the first week since their births. No doubt about it!
Charissa and daughter, Haley
I’m grateful for a visible legacy. My wife’s amazing mother-of-the-year heart and skills have reached down to the next generation. Our son in-law is showing all the signs of being an incredible daddy to his twin babies during his first week of fatherhood. His superb parents also have a visible legacy to watch and enjoy.
I don’t know what the next years will hold for these sweet new grandchildren who are only a few days old. But, by God’s grace, the sculpting and molding through their parent’s example will go a long way to assure the legacy will continue. I’m already seeing the legacy passed on in the hearts of our older granddaughters through our son and daughter in-love—at ages of almost 4 and 8–they are tender toward God, loving Him and others deeply. I envision all four of these grandchildren to become astonishing human beings. History has a way of repeating itself.
Our son in-love Jonathan Higdon with the twins.
King Solomon got it right in the Hebrew scriptures: “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” (Proverbs 22:6). That passage isn’t a money-back guarantee. And I’m thinking it is more descriptive than prescriptive. When I was a young parent, that was a sobering scripture. But as a grandparent, it is now gratifying and reassuring. I now get to see the fruit of, not perfect, but excellent parenting which is leading to another generation of outstanding parenting. The future looks bright!
QUESTION: What is one visible legacy that you are getting to see? I’d love to hear it in the comment section below.
You haven’t heard from me for a week because I’m on vacation, helping out the best I can with our daughter who just delivered twins. I’ve written new posts for next week. Meanwhile, I’ve checked my website tally of the most viewed posts in July! So here they are in the order they rank, with one being at the top and five at the bottom.
TOP FIVE FOR JULY 2013:
Three Biggest Leadership Lessons (written last week)
Learning From the Amish (some reflections from our vacation experience)
Visible But Overlooked (non-verbal communication)
An Unavoidable Principle of Leadership (we reproduce what we are more than what we say)
Valentine’s Day (this still surprises me)
I also checked Google Analytics out of curiosity to learn more about the demographics of those reading this blog. I found it interesting to discover the top five countries represented by my readers are: United States, Philippines, United Kingdom, Israel and Canada.
And since, I just completed the first 10 months of this blog, I determined it would be informative to discover which have been the top posts from the very beginning in October 2012. Here they are:
Inspiring TransforMissional Living
If you find any of these posts helpful, please share them with your friends and colleagues on Facebook, Twitter or LinkenIn. Or encourage your friends to subscribe to the email version of the blog. Have a wonderful weekend!
QUESTION: Which one out of the Top Five did you find most helpful? Please share it in the comment section.
There are tons of smart people in the world. Books, videos and consultants are available on nearly every topic. Google can find you any information you need. But where do you find wisdom and get access to it?
I’ve discovered there’s a lot of difference between being smart and being wise. There’s a difference between having great information and knowing how to apply it in any given situation. Some decisions in life are right or wrong. Those are easy. It just takes the courage to do what is right.
The tougher questions are the one’s which don’t necessarily have a right or wrong answer. These are the questions whose consequences will be felt by your children and your children’s children. Questions around marital issues, financial responsibility and debt, parents, in-laws, relational concerns, children’s educations, career progression and relocation of the family…these are ‘big stuff’ issues that most people deal with sooner or later.
These kind of difficult issues require wisdom. Wisdom is uniquely different than knowledge and information. Wisdom has to do with the soundness of an action or decision with regard to the application of experience, knowledge and good judgment. I’m thankful I’ve had great mentors over the years who’ve imparted their wisdom to me when I needed to make difficult decisions.
You likely have a lot of wisdom that you could be sharing with younger less-experienced people who have mostly knowledge and information. Are you mentoring anyone younger or less-experienced? You have experience and knowledge of life, relationships, God, and His ways that can’t be found anywhere else. You’ve already made a lot of the decisions in the past that younger folks are facing now. Sometimes you made them well, sometimes you didn’t. That’s called experience and that’s one of the sources of wisdom.
A key place that a mentor’s wisdom helps is in sorting out relationship stuff. Since life is defined by relationships, having a coach who knows some stuff about people may be the “scratch” to a younger guy or gal’s greatest “itch.” Wise mentors help mentees think longer term in a culture whose orientation is all about “right now.”
Are you up to it? Would you be willing to make that wisdom available to those coming behind you? You’ve got it. Share it!
QUESTION: What have you found to be most helpful while mentoring others? Please share it below.
Over this past weekend, I had the honor to speak at the church of a long-time pastor friend who was out of town at a retreat with all of his staff. His video introduction of me as the guest speaker was glowing and made me sound like a great leader. I was honored by his talk about my 27 years of leadership and influence in the community.
After listening to the introduction video before each of the four worship services and then reading a post by one of my favorite bloggers, Mark Miller, I started thinking and reflecting about the biggest lessons I’ve learned in leadership. I could talk about countless lessons I’ve learned but here are just three that standout the most.
My Capacity to Lead is Determined by my Capacity to Grow. I’m grateful for people like John Maxwell and others who challenged me nearly three decades ago with the axiom—leaders are learners. While I already had 7 years of higher education and 7 additional years of experience under my belt, I realized I couldn’t rely on what I had learned in the past to help me to start and grow a new church. I committed myself to start growing my capacity to lead, to learn and to communicate. I still refuse to coast. I want to grow my capacity all the way to the grave.
Great Leadership is the Opposite of What you Tend to Think. Leadership is not about position, power, prestige and supremacy. It’s all about servanthood. The way to the top is from the bottom in God’s upside-down economy. Instead of taking, we give. Instead of self-indulgence, we self-sacrifice. Instead of going to the front of the line, we go to the back. It’s the opposite of what our culture screams.
Leadership is Not Either/Or But Both/And. I’ve been learning that leadership is a dance that balances extremes. It not just about results, but also about relationships. It’s not just hard-charging driveness, but also taking time to slow down and recharge. It’s not just being out front, but also learning to be a great follower. Good leadership that endures for the long haul is both/and.
Grow, serve and keep a good balance in life. That pretty much sums up my leadership success. How about you?
QUESTION: What big lessons about leadership have you learned so far? Share below in the comment section.
Love it or hate it, you always are. You are always leading. Seriously, even if you think you aren’t a leader, you are leading. People are watching. Leadership is influence. We are always influencing people by our actions, our attitudes and our words. Yes, you always are.
Think about it. Even when you stand in the check-out line at the grocery store, your words, your demeanor, your actions are influencing others in some direction. The question is, “in what direction are we leading?” Toward goodness… or away? Toward strong character… or away? Toward peace… or away?Toward God… or away?
Nowhere is this principle more apparent and amplified than in a celebrity-focused place like Hollywood. With “paparazzi” always on the scene, a star’s every move is watched by millions. And whether they want to accept it or not, people…especially young people …are following them, copying them. Their clothes, their tattoos, their behavior and the decisions they’re making.
The sports world is the same. When Charles Barkley was a professional basketball player, he made the now-famous declaration that he “wasn’t a role model”. He realized the weight of responsibility carried by a star player and tried to shuck it. He couldn’t. No one can. Sports star or not, we all are role models at some level in our particular and unique circles of influence.
As parents or grandparents, this principle should be front and center. Our kids or grandkids are always watching what we do. They’re watching how we handle pressure. How we eat, drink, exercise, rest and take care of our bodies. How we treat others. How we make decisions. How we handle conflict. How, what we say matches up with what we do. Like it or not, you are always leading.
As an active pastor in the same city for 27 years, I know a lot of people. Sometimes, it feels like I know way too many people! I know that I’m always leading. People are watching. Not that I really desire to live a double life. But there are times when I wish I could just drive like a jerk and know that no one would recognize me. I would love to go shopping just one time and not see someone I feel obligated to smile at and talk with. That’s why stay-cations don’t work for me. I need to get out of town to unwind, refresh and recharge my mind, body, spirit and soul. Because, I know I’m always leading. And, so are you. You always are.
QUESTION: What helps you to embrace your full-time leadership responsibility? Share it below.
