Everyone likes applause. Everyone. We all want positive feedback. Some feel so unworthy inside so they have trouble receiving the smallest compliment. Others soak up the applause like the desert does raindrops. But we all have a need for applause.
Applause is interesting. Once we get a little, we want more. Applause can become intoxicating. It can be downright addicting. We start looking for it. We might even try to manufacture it. Applause is a crazy thing. It will often distort our perspective and our decision-making if we are gripped by its influence.
Depending on what kind of approval we received or didn’t receive from significant people while growing up, our whole adult lives can be subconsciously driven by the need for applause. If unaware, we can make catastrophic choices in our quest for the applause of others.
Regi Campbell writes, “You won’t have peace until you figure out who your audience is, and God is the only audience that matters.” I totally agree. Yet there are plenty of mistakes you can make with that philosophy. You could assume that God is just one more audience to perform for. That approach ignores this Biblical truth of grace, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so than no one can boast” (Ephesians 2:8-9 NIV). The above philosophy can also create a false reality that what other people think doesn’t matter. Unrealistic and untrue.
It seems to me that we should learn to practice the pause of applause. Acknowledge that applause feels good. We were created by a Creator who repeatedly proclaimed statements of applause at creation: “And God saw that it was good” (Genesis 1:4, 10, 12, 18 etc.). Celebrating accomplishments and achievements is not a bad thing at all. But we must learn to pause when there is applause.
Pause to give gratitude for the gifts and talents God has blessed you with. Pause to remember that God gives us His grace, His love and His forgiveness even when we don’t deserve it. Pause to give thanks to the person who took the time to note your hard work and efforts. Pause to remember that applause can be addictive and ask God for the clarity of mind not to become driven by the approval of others. Pause to ask God for the humility to continue serving when others forget to give much-deserved applause. Pause to deflect the applause that others on your team also deserve.
The pause of applause enables me to keep my pride in check. To remember that “every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights” (James 1:17). This pause helps me remember to compliment and affirm those around me who are working hard and doing a great job. And it reminds me to be grateful for all of those who’ve poured themselves into my life so I can now be successful.
Don’t get me wrong. I still like applause. That’s human. But I’m not often addicted to it nor intoxicated by it. With grace and gratitude, when I pause at the applause, I realize that God deserves much more applause than I ever remember to give Him. And the audience of One, is who I most want to receive my applause from.
QUESTION: Are you clear about whose applause you’re working for…and why? Tell us in the comment section below.
For many of us, the clock and the calendar are not our friends. Our time is always getting shorter. I’ve met plenty of folks who have a depressing and mind-numbing sense that their effort, or even their presence, is pointless. Even those with many achievements have their doubts. They secretly wonder if they have any relevance. Questioning if their life really matters.
I love to go back to this great truth from scripture: “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago” (Ephesians 2:10 NLT). We are more than blobs. We are poems of God (literally the meaning of the word masterpiece in the original text). God is still creatively writing the chapters of your life. And He has planned for you to live on purpose.
But if you and I are not intentional, the seconds tick on, the minutes go by, the hour hand sweeps around, a new day starts and before you know it, the fire works are igniting at the stroke of midnight and another year is forever gone. The sobering reality is that our lives are slipping away and we are all called to “live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work” (Colossians 1:10 NIV). A life worthy of our calling. A life lived with fruitfulness and significance. The opposite of pointless.
Purposeful living must be intentional. Relevance is intentional. It doesn’t just happen. What does just happen is a pointless life lived in pursuit of artificial treasures and short-lived peace. A purpose-filled life takes some hard work in the beginning. You need to discover and lock on to your purpose. And then it just takes a lot of consistent proclamations of “yes” to the best things and “no” to even the good things that take us off mission.
So let me ask this pointed question: On the continuum between pointless and relevant, where does your current work and focus in life fall? Are you doing what makes your heart sing? If there’s anything about your answers that you don’t like, what next?
QUESTION: What has helped you most to stay on point in living you’re your calling? Your experience will likely help all our readers. Thanks for sharing it below.
Common sense isn’t all that common. Sometimes we overlook the basics and think life is way more complicated than it really is. To be successful in leadership, in marriage, in parenting we often think we have to be exceptionally smart, charming and experienced. But really, I’ve found there are four simple habits that can make a crucial difference—often the difference between success and mediocrity or even failure.
I recently read a blog post by a mentor from afar, Bob Buford—business leader and founder of both Halftime and Leadership Network. He was actually talking about his own New Year’s resolutions and something his friend Dan Sullivan calls the “Referability Habits” that should guide entrepreneurs. And as I reflected on those four simple habits, I soon realized that these four things pretty much are the core of my success in starting and building an organization. And the more I reflected, they are essential to turning good intentions into real behavior in every other area of life.
Here are the four simple things that Dan Sullivan tells every entrepreneur in his Strategic Coaching program. Sullivan says that these four crucial habits are the key to the world’s best marketing strategy—getting referrals from others who’ve experienced your product or customer service. And, they are the key to improve any relationship in your life.
Show Up On Time—I know seems almost absurd. It’s so simple. Yet, so hard for some to do consistently. People start making assessments about you based on this little habit. Can’t he or she manage time? Can I trust them? Are they competent? Or, am I a priority or at the bottom of the important things to-do list? It’s simple. It’s basic. And it’s foundational.
Do What You Say—This is another yardstick by which you will be measured and evaluated and either respected or dismissed. In other words, your word is your word. Your handshake actually means something. Follow-through is a crucial habit that will determine whether you thrive or barely survive.
Finish What You Start—I admire the folks who have an incessant flow of fresh new ideas and visions of a preferred future. But I want to passionately follow the people who finish what they start. We soon get jaded by the leader, the spouse, the parent, or the politician who has oodles of ideas but rarely finishes what they start.
Say Please and Thank You—Back to a thought on an earlier blog, “You can tell an awful lot about someone’s character by how they return the shopping cart.” Kind of like saying please and thank you. Is there a sense of entitlement or an attitude of gratitude? I can usually predict which teens will become successful adults through observation of these basic manners.
There they are. As modest and simple as these four habits may be, they are the building blocks of human relationships. These habits shape our lives. They determine if we are just people of good intentions or people of intentionality. They are the tipping point of success.
QUESTION: What habit would you add to this short list? I’d love to hear it in the comment section.
Losing influence is effortless. Easy to do. You can lose influence without even realizing it. Without even trying. Have you thought about it?
Leadership is all about influence. You can only lead effectively over the long haul when others respect you and want to follow you. Sure, you can lead short term because of your assigned position or role, but you will never lead a movement.
Of course, there are the obvious things that will kill your leadership influence: character issues, moral failure, burnout, refusing to grow and more. But some aspects of influence aren’t quite that obvious. They are much more subtle.
A favorite blogger of mine, Carey Nieuwhof, wrote a series of blogs on the topic of squandering influence awhile back. He had some observations and mine are similar.
Here’s my list of sure bets to destroying your influence:
Tearing Others Down—So many people try to build themselves up by tearing others down. I’ve seen businesses do it and churches do it. I’ve watched leaders badmouth other leaders. Friends disparage former friends. Every time a leader criticizes someone else, they lose a bit of influence among those who are following them. People really don’t want to follow after a cynical, critical, negative, back-biting leader. Build your life on what you are for instead of what you are against.
Focus on Being a Climber—If you are only hanging out with those who can help you climb the social or corporate ladder, it will ultimately work against you. I’ve watched well-connected politicians lose the election because their contender made all the effort to care about the little guy who wasn’t able to help much. I’ve seen leaders build relationships primarily with a few big influencers and lose influence with hundreds of potential supporters. Great leaders care deeply about those who don’t have the ability to help them back and thereby increase their influence as other observers see their heart.
Make it All About You—We all want to be heard and we all love the attention of others. But if you plan to maximize your influence, you have to show a genuine interest in others. Ask questions. Remember details (starting with their name). Express an interest in their interests. Listen more. Talk less.
Ignore the Little Things—I heard someone say, “You can tell an awful lot about someone’s character by how they return the shopping cart.” Ouch! But, yes you can. It’s the little things like “please” and “thank you” that make a big difference. Forgetting the mundane things like to RSVP or a timely return of phone calls, emails and texts will erode your influence. And yes, smiling, holding the door for someone and taking the low place at the table has an amazing amount of power to increase your influence.
So, there you have it. Little things can have a huge impact toward either building your influence or destroying it. It’s a matter of being intentional or not even trying.
QUESTION: Any other ways you’ve seen to lose influence without even trying? Please share them!
A long time ago someone told me that average was really just the “best of the worst and the worst of the best.” That’s an interesting way to look at it for sure. That view has helped to shape the way I think about average. In fact, I pretty much am hardwired to go for more than average. I look at mediocrity the same way I look at average. Mediocrity is not my goal in life.
Best selling author Seth Godin writes about the four horsemen of mediocrity: Deniability, Helplessness, Contempt and Fear. They are also the four horsemen of average. Godin often writes how the industrial age brought us a culture of compliance. Compliance brought fear. Fear brought mediocrity. We’ve all seen mediocrity and average abound in nearly every imaginable environment—business, customer service, retail, churches, leadership, government, education, marriage and parenting—just to name a few.
There are a lot of ways to express mediocrity and average but Godin refers to the symptoms showing up most often in these “four horsemen:”
Deniability —It’s the basic problem most humans are born with, “it’s not my fault.” Deniability shows up in organizations through phrases like, “they decided, they created or they blocked.” When we make excuses for lack of excellence and progress, we are denying our responsibility to act or to make changes. How many times have we heard, “that’s just the way the system works. There’s nothing I can do about it.” That’s average. That’s mediocrity.
Helplessness —Here’s another one similar to deniability, “My boss won’t let me.” Compliance and settling for average is a clear path to mediocrity. Excellence is found only when we become solution focused. There will always be problems. There will be glitches. There will be mistakes. Those who rise above all the rest are the creative problem-solvers. “I can’t” should be eliminated from our vocabularies and replaced with “let me see what I can do.”
Contempt —Already disillusioned and discouraged to the point of no longer caring, this average mentality is expressed by, “they don’t pay me enough to put up with this kind of stuff.” Mediocrity oozes out of the pores of those who degrade their bosses, their organizations and their associates with condescension. Even an outside observer can tell that an unhealthy culture exists in that particular environment when disdain and poor attitudes are expressed out loud or through body language.
Fear —The fear of failure is probably the biggest enemy of excellence. If organizational workers or leaders feel it is not worth the risk, mediocrity has invaded the culture. It may be the fear of what others will say about your success or the “what ifs” of failure. Some environments become so toxic that excellence is quickly shot down and those who start rising above average are pulled back to “reality” so everything stays “normal.” Fear is a powerful persuader toward mediocrity and average.
The great news about fear is that once you see it and dance with it (as Godin says), you have a huge opportunity! A chance to make it better. An occasion to bring change. A prospect of hope. An incident for excellence. A cause to shoot for the moon. A reason to live with brilliance. Neither mediocre or average.
QUESTION: What helps you to rise above mediocrity? Please share it with our readers below. Thank you!
Have you been in one of those situations where you are not the leader but you just want to make a difference and help something to happen? Sometimes it’s because you are new on the scene or it may be due to a vacuum of leadership among those who are assigned to lead. Other times you simply are a member of a team and have limited authority.
I love the philosophy of leadership that Gary Hamel and Polly LaBarre espouse in a Harvard Business Review article I recently stumbled across. The blog title was How to Lead When You Are Not the Leader. I loved the idea they were promoting when they stated, “you have to assume you have no power—that you aren’t ‘in charge’ of anything…if, given this starting point, you can mobilize others and accomplish amazing things, then you’re a leader. If you can’t, well then, you’re a bureaucrat.”
Wow! If you have to rely on a position or a role to define your leadership, you are just exercising bureaucratic power. Bottom line, authentic leadership is all about influence and inspiring others toward change or accomplishment. I totally agree.
Hanel and LaBarre write about the 8 attributes of individuals who inspire others and multiply their impact. In the above referenced article, they highlight these eight: Seers, Contrarians, Architects, Mentors, Connectors, Bushwhackers, Guardians and Citizens.
I quickly discovered that I lead best through being a Mentor and a Connector. I also have Seer and Architect attributes which have helped me envision what could be, then design and build an organization with systems that adequately helped it to grow and function. But that’s not the center of my sweet spot. I’m at the top of my game as a Mentor and Connector.
Hanel and LaBarre describe me this way. Mentors, rather than hoarding power, give it away. They believe and act as if the primary role of a leader is to create more leaders. Connectors have a gift of spotting the right people who can combine ideas and visions with available resources. They also help others achieve their dreams. Spot on. When I reflect, I think those two strengths and leadership attributes are my greatest legacy in the organization I started 28 years ago.
How about you? Are you a leader or a bureaucrat? Are you able to lead through influence and inspiration when you aren’t the leader? Which of the 8 attributes are most typical of your leadership? Your leadership can leave a significant impact and legacy.
QUESTION: Which attributes do you lead best with? Please share them below.
The last 14 months have been personally filled with anticipation, planning, waiting, wondering, worrying, relief, profound gratitude and now, anticipation all over again. It was 14 months ago that I made a decision to apply for the 2013 National Clergy Renewal Program grant funded by the Indianapolis-based Lilly Endowment Inc. Thirty-five years of being on-call nearly 24/7 and working most every weekend of the year, can take its toll. Walking with people through their gut-wrenching, life-altering experiences of pain and grief has a cumulative impact on even the care-givers. So I decided to take action. I’m happy to report to you that I am blessed beyond measure.
My wife Linda and I and the congregation we founded were awarded a four-month fully funded sabbatical by the Lilly Endowment. Cape Christian Fellowship is one of 87 congregations across the country selected to participate in this competitive grant program. Starting May 1, we will be taking extended time to rest, recharge, retool and reconnect.
We will begin our sabbatical with five weeks of travel in Austria, Switzerland, and Germany, where we will visit many places connected to our family and spiritual heritage. Our activities will range from spending a few days in a monastery to hang gliding in the Swiss Alps. After these initial weeks, we will experience a five-day Greek Isle cruise tracing the journey of the Apostle Paul, a prominent first century Christian leader.
Following the cruise, Linda and I will return to the United States, where we will spend the next 10 weeks on a road trip from Florida to my home state of Oregon and back to Florida again. Since one of the intentions of the grant is to strengthen and refresh the pastor’s family, we will be spending a week on the Oregon Coast with our three adult children, their spouses, and our four grandchildren. Our stateside activities include a week in the Canadian Rockies and a five-day workshop for me with a professional photographer in Glacier National Park in Montana to nurture my hobby—nature photography. The sabbatical starts winding down in August with a four-day marriage retreat in Colorado and then it wraps up with a reflection time in a cabin in Georgia.
“Lilly Endowment intends for this program to enable pastors to live for a while at a different pace and in a new environment, in Sabbath time and space,” said Dr. Christopher L. Coble, vice president for religion at the Endowment. “We can think of no better way to honor these hardworking, faithful men and women than to help them experience personal growth and spiritual renewal in ways that they themselves design and find meaningful. We regularly hear that these renewal experiences are transformative for pastors, their families, and their congregations.”
Linda and I are anticipating growth and renewal during this upcoming time away. We feel blessed beyond all measure. I’m still working on how I might do some continued but limited blog posts while I’m away to keep you connected to our journey and experiences. These next 90 days before we leave will be filled with much preparation to make sure all the details both for our travels and for what we leave behind, are covered and taken care of. But everyday is filled with incredible thankfulness and gratitude for God’s blessings and the foresight of business leaders like the Lilly family who are using their resources to bless people like our family.
QUESTION: Have you ever taken an extended time away and what did you learn about the experience that you would be willing to pass on to us? Share it in an email to DGingerich@capechristian.com or in the comment section below. Thanks!
This weekend when the final ticks of the second quarter game clock fade and over 100 million people are watching Super Bowl XLVIII on their high-def flat screens, most of us won’t be thinking about what will happen next in the Denver Bronco and Seattle Seahawk locker rooms. We’ll be watching the endless stream of multi-million dollar commercials and hopefully a decent half-time show. But maybe, there will be a miracle happening in the locker rooms.
Interestingly, the NFL highest-scoring second-half teams of the 2013 season are the Denver Broncos with an average of 26.8 points and the Seattle Seahawks with 17.8 average. Is it coincidental they are the Super Bowl contenders?
We’ve all witnessed a team return from halftime now jacked up beyond all recognition. Suddenly that team that couldn’t put any points on the board in the first two quarters is now a scoring machine. Could this dramatic alteration of energy and execution be the result of an amazing miracle of coaching or the manifestation of some bold speech delivered by an emotional leader? Maybe it’s some combination of both along with other less tangible factors.
The reality of this weekend, Coaches John Fox and Pete Carroll will have a bit more than double the normal 12 minutes between the end of the second quarter and the beginning of the third. With the walk to and from the field chewing up some of the time, the Super Bowl game actually will have a 31 minute halftime. Of course toilets will be flushing, ankles will be taped, energy drinks will be gulped, Ibuprofen or stronger will be popped, torn jerseys will be changed and more. Offensive and defensive coaches will huddle with their players. An influential player may give a pep talk. And no halftime is complete without short motivational speeches by Fox and Carroll to their respective teams.
For the most part, only slight variations in the game plan can realistically be made. An entire two weeks worth of prep cannot just be thrown away or replaced. But somehow it seems like miracles are created in those few minutes of down time between halves. Energized, recharged and ready for battle, the teams charge the field. Final outcome? Unknown.
My point is, halftime matters! It matters in our lives as well. Honest reflection on what was effective and what was ineffective in the first half are both important. Looking ahead is vital. Adjustments to the game plan are crucial. I’m grateful for a friend like Lloyd Reeb of the Halftime organization that has helped me immensely while in the locker room catching my breath. I’m blessed with my own personal board of directors—a group of peers whom I’ve met with nearly every single week for the last 18 years. I’m thankful for my wife who has encouraged me and helped me to see both my strengths and my weaknesses.
The miracles that happen in the locker room at half time are rarely about one person, one speech or one new game-changing idea. Those second-half miracles are about intentionally understanding your 3 C’s: Core, Capacity and Context; knowing what drives your life, grasping your purpose and developing a clear personal mission statement. All of these I’ve written about before at the above respective links.
What steps have you taken recently to get off the field regularly to rest, reflect and refocus for the second half? There are no lack of resources to get started. The truth is this. If you are going full speed for all four quarters, you will totally miss the miracle in the locker room, and likely, the trophy at the end of the game.
QUESTION: What have you recently learned about yourself in the locker room? Share it in the comment section below.
The big game is coming up this weekend! Millions will watch. They may be avid or casual fans. Or they might be curious as to what kind of advertising creativity could possibly be worth $4,000,000 for 30 seconds of fame. I guess Bank of America, Cheerios, Coca-Cola, Doritos, GoDaddy, Pespi and Toyota are all interested in playing the game. They and many more will pony up millions for their 30 or 60 second spots during Super Bowl XLVIII and we will share our favorites on social media or around the water cooler on Monday morning.
For those actually interested in the Denver Broncos and Seattle Seahawks play on the gridiron, there are tons of statistics that show first half performance can get you in the game, but second half play will determine who leaves the field with the trophy. It’s a lot like life. What happens at halftime, matters.
Halftime is when the best coaches and team leaders assess and adjust. If you’re behind, you look at what’s gone wrong and rework your game plan. If you failed to prepare and got thumped, you change it up.
That’s the tactical approach. There’s also the emotional inventory because it may be that the other team is doing nothing to you. You’re doing it to yourself. You may adjust there too.
Coming out of halftime, it comes down to how badly you want something and what you’re willing to do, mentally and physically. Sacrifice and selflessness factor in because winners always come in a group package. Peyton Manning’s or Russell Wilson’s are nice to have but it’s teams that win, not stars. Besides that, every team has a surrounding cast of coaches, leaders, assistants and counselors. It can go either way.
As a pastor, I’ve had 50-yard line seats on the lives of men and women who have come out of halftime to finish well. They leveraged their first half success for second half significance. I’ve also been on the sidelines helping pick up the pieces of those who built a lead and then somewhere dropped their guard. It can go either way.
Someone did a study of the lives of men and women in the Bible. Where there was sufficient data to track, the study concluded that two-thirds of the biblical characters finished badly. If only a third of them made it past the two-minute warning and finished strong, that should tell us something. We humans are prone to blowing the game.
Richard Rohr writes in, “Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life,” about every life’s second half: “In my opinion, the first half of life is no more than finding the starting gate. It is merely the warm-up act…We are summoned to [the second half], not commanded to go, perhaps because each of us has to go on this path freely, with all the messy and raw material of our own unique lives. But we don’t have to do it, nor do we have to do it alone.”
So the second half is no promise, no guarantee. It’s just a chance to redeem ourselves or to ruin all we’ve gained so far. The first half gets you in the game; the second half is for your best plays.
QUESTION: What helps you most to keep your game sharp in the second half? Please share it below.
One of my favorite bloggers had this title recently, “Gradually and Then Suddenly.” Seth Godin writes mostly about marketing and business but his points are applicable across the whole spectrum of life. So many things happen gradually and then suddenly.
Most things don’t happen suddenly. We just notice suddenly. It usually happens gradually. After ten years of foundational erosion, cutting corners here, inattention to details, opportunities missed, quite suddenly it all falls apart. It didn’t happen suddenly, you just noticed it suddenly.
This principle of truth is seen in business, in marriage, in churches, in careers, raising children and more. Everything is going along with just tiny incremental changes and then suddenly. The good news is, the flipside works the very same way. After ten years in business, we suddenly notice an overnight success.
Godin writes, “This is the way it works, but we too often make the mistake of focusing on the ‘suddenly’ part. The media writes about suddenly, we notice suddenly, we talk about suddenly.” Jim Collins in his Good to Great book uses the image of the “Flywheel Effect”—the additive effect of many small initiatives continued with intentional discipline over time act like compounding interest and lead to great success. It’s much the same as the Bamboo Principle.
I’m reminded of the Scripture: “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9). Life is mostly about a lot of small day-to-day decisions that morph into one big direction of life. We look for the big break-through to success moments. We watch for the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. We anticipate our moment in the spotlight.
I reflected on this principle yesterday while remembering and celebrating Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Dr. King didn’t just give an “I Have a Dream” speech and everything changed. He made day-to-day decisions to speak out, to march, to write letters, to preach sermons—which led to years of hardship, jail time and non-violent confrontations. Civil rights changes were so very gradual, but then suddenly.
What small thing do you need to do or change today in building your character, your marriage, your business, your faith, your career or your organization so some day, it will suddenly be everything you want it to become? Gradually is the only part you can actually do something about.
QUESTION: What examples of gradual and then suddenly would you add? Please share them.
