“Be delusional enough to call yourself something that the world hasn’t called you yet,” Queen Latifah said. “Be brave enough to walk down a road that no one else can see.” When I read the words that the legendary female rapper gave to the 2026 graduates of North Carolina A&T State University, I immediately screenshotted them so I wouldn’t forget them. It got my attention. It made my mind do a quick rewind of several decades.
The First Doubt
I remember two instances when I felt so alone, yet so confident. The first was in the early 1980s when I was in an elder’s meeting of the first church I pastored in Elmira, NY. I made a statement that I felt God was calling me to “plant” or start a church someday in the future. The overseer of our church responded,
“You will never make a church planter.”
No further explanation or reason for his words. Just a declaration that I wasn’t cut out for it, or capable, gifted or called. It was almost as if he thought I was delusional. Yet it didn’t shake me. I knew what I knew.
Fourteen Acres of Vision
The other instance that popped into my mind was a decade later, the early 1990s. I was attending a monthly ministerial association meeting. The group of pastors in the room knew that I had planted a new church in the city. Some knew we were starting to assemble three city blocks of property for a future church site. One of the pastors asked me how many acres the property would be when it was all assembled together. “Fourteen acres,” I replied.
Then his response caught me off balance. “What are you going to do with all that land? Build a university?” Maybe it was not intended this way. But, the way I heard it, it felt like: “Are you delusional? What is wrong with you? Who do you think you are? Why would you buy so much land when all the other churches in town have a third of that much land? I knew what I knew.
Now, decades later, I am so very thankful for the clarity of my inner call from God. It may have seemed like delusional faith to others. However, in retrospect, I knew the person God was calling me to become and I’m grateful that I didn’t wait for others to give me permission for the title of “church planter.” My wife and a few other mentors knew who I was called to be. They believed in what others thought was a delusion.
The Proof is in the Pudding
My dad used to say, “The proof is in the pudding.” Viewing the past from the advantage of the current hill I stand on. Yes, I planted a thriving church of thousands of weekly attenders and it has continued to expand its footprint into new communities. And we are using every square foot of our 14 acre campus, plus we rent additional acreage for overflow parking.
What about you?
- What vision that God has placed deep within you?
- What hidden road are you walking down right now?
- What truth do you know that you know?
Share your story in the Comment section below.
4 decades.
40 years.
480 months.
14,610 days ago.
On May 7, 1986, we pulled our Ryder moving truck into Cape Coral, FL. We were on a mission. A calling. An assignment from God.
Knowing we had the support of two other couples was a blessing, but the unknowns were overwhelming. We had no guarantees and few assurances of success. Our only goal was simple but massive: start a church that would reach unchurched families.
Milestones are moments for reflection. Over the years, I’ve written “30 Things I’ve Learned” and “35 Things I’ve Learned” at those milestone years. This year, to celebrate 40 years in Southwest Florida, I’m keeping it simple.
Just four things in four decades.
I’m sure you are relieved.
Embrace Change as a Constant
During the 11 months we spent preparing to launch Cape Christian, I wrote the core values and philosophy of ministry that would guide us. One of our four primary statements was that we would be “Change-Oriented.”
I wrote: “We will not fear and resist change but see it as important and necessary for effective ministry.”
For forty years, I’ve had to lean on that phrase. Whether we were navigating growth or cultural shifts, I often reminded our congregation: “The only thing you can count on as being consistent at Cape Christian, is change.”
When we embrace change rather than resisting it, we make room for growth.
Look at what that willingness to adapt has produced:
- From 65 people in one service to 6,000 people each weekend across 8 services on 2 campuses in two counties.
- From a rented school cafeteria to a 14-acre campus in Cape Coral and a new campus in Babcock Ranch.
- From nothing to offer to now providing multiple spaces for the entire community: A worship center, family ministry center, a large preschool, a family-oriented park with a splash pad, pickleball courts, and a café.
- From 1 staff member to a team of 150.
The Takeaway: Change isn’t something to be feared—it is the engine of progress.
Practice Patient Perseverance
There is no such thing as an “overnight success.”
Every week, I sit with my wife listening to a concert-quality worship team leading a room full of passionate worshippers. When I do, I often think back 50 years ago. We were a newly married couple walking out of a worship experience in Salem, Oregon.
I remember turning to her on that summer evening and saying, “Someday, we will lead a church like that.”
It took decades of showing up, even when it was hard, to see that “someday” become a reality. Perseverance isn’t just about sticking it out; it’s about keeping the vision alive while you do the work.
Prioritize Purposeful Successions
The best leadership decision I made in 40 years was intentionally planning my exit while I was still in the race. By preparing and releasing younger leaders (Wes, Jeff, Cory, and soon Kyle), the light of Christ now burns brighter and spreads further than if I were still clutching the torch. I’ve learned that my fruit often looks, smells, and tastes better growing on someone else’s tree. Because of these successions, the foundation I laid at age 32 is supporting a reality of incredible impact that I get to see at 72.
Maintain a Mission Mindset
From day one, we refused to become a ‘holy huddle.’ We chose to reach outward, even when it required significant risk. Comfort zones kill callings. While it’s natural for organizations to drift toward internal maintenance, we’ve remained relentless about the main thing: Loving God and Loving People. We never aimed to be a big church; we aimed to make a big impact. That mission mindset has been our game-changer, resisting the pull of mediocrity for four decades.
Forty years of dedication to this calling has been the privilege of a lifetime. Every difficult conversation and stressful meeting fades in light of the big picture: a fruitful four decades of planting, watering, and harvest. Today, when people ask, “Are you surprised?” we have a one-line answer. We say, “Not surprised, always in awe, and deeply grateful.” To everyone who caught the vision and joined the mission—thank you. Truly, the best is yet to come!
QUESTION: What is one ‘someday’ dream you are currently persevering toward?
The phrase was first used in 1924 to promote photographs and was trademarked in 1927. It was later used in advertisements for other products, including radios and RCA color televisions. As a professional photographer, I never realized that the phrase originated in photography, until now. But that phrase has been on my mind all morning as we move into Thanksgiving and the Christmas season.
“The gift that keeps on giving” is an idiom for something that provides ongoing benefits or enjoyment over a long period of time. It can be used to describe anything with lasting value, relationally, spiritually, financially, or eternally. While there are many things that illustrate this phrase, I want to mention just one of them on my mind today.
Travel is a gift that keeps on giving. My wife Linda and I live in a decent 20 year-old home that was a great investment. We are grateful for our home every day we get out of bed. Our garage has two parked Honda’s with 197,000 and 207,000 miles on them. They aren’t anything special but they get us to where we need to go and we are grateful for their faithful service. But our memories of travel to all 50 states, multiple continents, and dozens of countries is what brings a big smile to our faces and the deep satisfaction of our most important investments. We are so thankful we have made travel a priority over the last 50+ years of marriage. And, over the last 30 years, we’ve been honored to host folks like you for travel experiences to Israel, Greece, Turkey, Germany, Switzerland and other European countries through TransforMissional Travel. These are the gifts that keep on giving.
Travel has many lasting and long-term benefits. Cross-cultural experiences are priceless. You understand the world and the Bible at a different level when you have walked in the footsteps of Jesus, Abraham, David, Apostle Paul, Timothy, Titus, John, Martin Luther and others. When you have seen the same structures they looked at, walked on the same stones and paths they travelled, it changes you. It is a gift that keeps on giving.
As you are planning your gift-giving this year, let me invite you to three opportunities to invest in a legacy experience. Our Footsteps of Paul travel experience to Greece and Turkey in the late Spring is still open, but with a deadline coming up on December 22. We have several cabins still available on a Danube River Cruisenext Fall through multiple Eastern Europe countries. And we have people already registered for our 2027 Spring Footsteps of Jesus experience to Israel with an optional Egypt extension. Go to our TransforMissional Travel website or email us at info@transformissionaltravel.com and we will email you a brochure or snail mail one directly to your home or to a friend or family member. The best memories are made when you travel with friends or family. Have blessed Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays!!!
My mentor from afar, Dr. John Maxwell, recently spoke at the Global Leadership Summit and one sentence really captured my attention. “People will describe your life in one sentence – pick it now!” He went on to say, “You don’t have to wait until you die to figure out what people think.” That’s good. Really. Good!
When I was in my late 50’s, I picked my one sentence. In fact, I wrote my first post (read it here) on this blog over a dozen years ago, based around that one sentence. That one sentence, with slight variations, is the tag line on all four websites that I own. I picked it very intentionally as something that would steer the last half of my life. “Inspiring TransforMissional Living.”
Now, some of you think there’s a typo. You’re thinking, “Doesn’t he mean transformational?” No, I mean TransforMissional. And for the record, my spell checker underlines that word in bold red, still, every time. My mission is to inspire transformation– change, renovation and a makeover in the thinking and practice of others. In addition, I envision all the ways our world could be transformed if every individual would be missional– intentional, purposeful, focused, decisive and determined in the way they live out life! Therefore, I deliberately use this hybrid word.
Here’s how it shows up in my three other interests. For my hobby and part-time profession of photography, my Gingerich PhotoArt website says, “Inspiring TransforMissional Living Thru the Lens” boldly at the top. For my consulting work, Successful Successions, where I walk alongside those planning their leadership transitions, I use “Inspiring TransforMissional Leadership Successions.” My wife Linda and I have been leading groups to Israel, Greece, Turkey, Europe and more for nearly 30 years and we call it TransforMissional Travel. So you probably already guessed it. The key sentence is, “Inspiring TransforMissional Living Thru Travel.”
I choose to be intentional in every area of my life. Writing nearly 300 blog posts over the last 12 years to inspire transformation and purposeful living in others, is my passion. My hobby of nature photography is built around inspiring people to be awed by the beauty of God’s incredible creation and to feel immersed in it. I share my story of leadership succession to inspire other leaders to hand the torch successfully to the generations behind them. My wife and I love to host hundreds of people as they travel to explore the world, their faith and their spiritual roots as they walk in the footsteps of Jesus, Apostle Paul or early church leaders. I choose intentionality. What about you?
I’ve observed so many who are coasting and drifting and acquire a “back in the good old days” mindset as they get older. At any age, and especially as we get older, it is new uncharted territory ahead of us. Along with the realities of aging: health issues, uncertain finances, declining parents and a changing world—life can be challenging. But I choose to inspire intentionality and call people to pick your sentence now and leave a significant legacy—honoring the past, celebrating the present with an eager eye toward the future.
Let me ask you today: “What is your sentence?” What do you want people to say about you at your Celebration of Life? I would love for you to be brave enough to write it in the comment section below (it will only be seen by me).
Every year, for at least 25 years now, the beginning of August is a pinnacle experience for me. I learn. I grow. I look in the mirror. I make decisions. I give thanks. It is a highpoint of my year. I always attend a two-day leadership-stretching conference. In fact, it is appropriately called, The Global Leadership Summit.
For two solid days, I was sitting at the table with pastors, city managers, preschool teachers, business owners, realtors, kids’ ministry leaders, city councilmen, janitors, counselors and construction superintendents. Most everyone was furiously taking notes from Juliet Funt, Erica Dhawan, Nick Saban, Gabriel Salguero, Thasunda Brown Duckett, David Ashcraft, Tasha Eurick, Bradley Raiper, James Hewitt, Stephanie Chung, Christine Caine, Jon Acuff and more. We laughed, we clapped, we cried, and we danced as we trekked toward the leadership summit.
Every year for the last couple decades, I’ve come away with a thought or two that I cannot and will not forget. A theme that changes me. Motivates me. Inspires me. Humbles me. Sobers me. This year it started with the first talk by Craig Groeschel. And it was wrapped up with a bow tied on it by the second to last speaker, John C. Maxwell. It was simply this: Consistency + Faithfulness x Time = Lasting Impact. Craig gave the above formula. And then John wrapped it up with a talk about legacy.
For me, it was legacy multiplied. My mind went back to 39 years ago, to a medium-sized hotel meeting room in Atlanta, GA. As a 32 year-old, I sat at a table with my older mentor and a couple dozen other pastors for two days at a “How to Plant a Church” seminar organized by Fuller Seminary based in California. There were two speakers on the schedule that I had never heard of before that radically changed the trajectory of my pastoral ministry. One was Rick Warren, the other was John Maxwell. Rick inspired me to a new way of preparing my sermons with the unchurched, non-follower of Jesus at the forefront of my mind. John gave me permission to be a leader that produced other leaders and then told me, “Everything rises and falls on leadership.” After seven years of college and seminary and seven more years of pastoral ministry, these two ideas were radical, mind-blowing brand-new thoughts for me. Both were early-on in their ministries. Both were unknown names on the national scene. But they changed my life.
Nearly four decades later, I’m overwhelmed with gratitude that John Maxwell’s legacy is multiplied in me. On a side note, John mentored Craig Groeschel from both far and near. Craig has also inspired me often. But John planted a seed in me in that Atlanta hotel conference room back in 1986 and then watered it with his monthly cassette tapes on leadership that I received in the mail (yes, way before digital downloads) for a couple decades. I’ve read most everyone of his leadership books. John showed consistency and faithfulness that was multiplied over time and he has left a lasting legacy. On me. On Craig Groeschel. On millions.
And then finally. I look around the room where I am listening to John Maxwell again, this time he is 78 and I’m 71, and he is speaking on Leaving a Legacy. I see legacy multiplied. My successor, Pastor Cory Demmel is around the other side of the table. He was age 24 when he sat in a room in Omaha, NB with John Maxwell speaking to a small group of young leaders. Cory was inspired and given permission to lead. Now he leads Cape Christian with an attendance of well over 5,000 in six services every weekend. And to add to the emotion of it all, over 120 young leaders from our church, preschool and café staff, who are now serving under Cory’s leadership, sit around dozens of tables, taking notes as they listen to John Maxwell speaking. I tear up. I was the one and only church staff member at a soon-to-be launched new church called Cape Christian, when I was in Atlanta taking notes listening to him the first time. Now, we all are leaving a legacy because of what John Maxwell inspired in me 39 years ago and in Cory 21 years ago. Consistency. Faithfulness. Time. Lasting legacy. Multiplied legacy. God is so good.
This week, I had the privilege of speaking to several hundred teenagers. It was at our middle school and high school youth camp from the church my wife and I started 39 years ago. Later, when I saw a social media post of dozens of photos of the teens worshipping, being prayed for by the adult leaders and them weeping as God was doing His work on the inside, I wept.
“Available” is the key word that I repeatedly used when speaking to the teens. I started my message with the story of being called into the Principal’s Office at Western Christian School in Salem, Oregon when I was 14 years old. Mr. Roth simply asked me the question, “Have you ever thought of becoming a pastor?” I had not. I only planned on following the generations before me and becoming a farmer. But I determined that day to be available.
Thank you to youth and kids ministry volunteer Jamie Irvin of Wave Crest Aerials for the images.
In the next few years leading up to the day before registering for my classes and choosing my college major, I internally told God that I was available. And then I heard a radio message that day from a pastor calling young people to consider becoming pastors. In my college dorm room, I told God once again, yes, I’m available. The next morning, with a registration counselor’s guidance, we laid out a plan for four years of college classes to prepare me for going on to a graduate school pastoral track in seminary for three additional years. Seven years later, I finished the formal preparation, and I was available.
In August 1979, I was licensed and later ordained as a pastor. It was a challenging but rewarding time. My first pastoral job included things I knew were a part of the call and also aspects of dealing with situations I didn’t anticipate. But, I was available and committed to the journey of serving in my calling. The good, the great, the bad, the ugly. I have no regrets.
Forty years ago this week, I met with our leadership team to let them know I wanted to be available for planting or starting a new church. This meant lots of prayer, discernment, discomfort, facing the unknown, selling our first home that we loved, wondering where we would be a year from now and, do I have what it takes? What if we move our family somewhere to plant a church and it never takes root, grows and bears any fruit? But, we were available.
The next ten months were both exhilarating and exhausting. We received and made phone calls, filled out applications, wrote letters (there was no email back then), inquired, prayed, discerned, and interviewed. Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Montana, California, Iowa and Florida. Where would we end up? Only one thing was certain. We were available.
Then it happened. After being told four months earlier there was no opening for planting a church in Cape Coral, FL, we received a phone call while sitting at the dining room table with our realtor. We were signing a counteroffer to sell our beloved home. The call started with a simple question, “Are you still available?” Starting a church in Cape Coral was back on the table. The caller asked if we would consider starting a church in Florida? Could we come for a visit and an interview?
Four months later, our family of five were Florida residents. We were available and ready to lay the foundations of starting a church that would reach out to young families who had no church experience or connections. To now see thousands and thousands gathering every weekend at two locations for worship and to see the impact Cape Christian is having on southwest Florida is so rewarding and fulfilling.
And now, on this same week 40 years later when I agreed to be available to start a church, seeing hundreds of teens make themselves available like the many teens in the Bible that I pointed them toward (Samuel, Mary, Jeremiah, Miriam, Joseph, David, Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego, John, Andrew, James and more) in my camp chapel message, I have such joy. For all of us, when we continue to stack our “yes” upon “yes” to every “Are you available?” question, God will do exceedingly above and beyond anything we can ever ask, imagine or think (See Ephesians 3:16-20).
QUESTION: Where is God inviting you to be available?
This is a Big Weekend. Not only is it one of the biggest weekends for all people around the world who are followers of Jesus Christ, it is also special for an additional reason. Thirty-eight years ago, (April 19, 1987 on Easter Sunday) my wife Linda and I had the privilege of being spiritual mid-wives. We helped God birth one of His churches, Cape Christian.
Along with Two Other Couples, we locked our arms in a common vision to reach young un-churched families. Starting the first church in Cape Coral, Florida that was entirely focused on using contemporary worship music, down-to-earth messages, and relevant ministry to inspire and transform families, we have been Loving God and Loving People for nearly four decades now. This weekend, approximately ten thousand people will gather at our ten services on two campuses to worship the Resurrected Christ!
The Most Frequent Question that my wife and I have been asked over this past year as our weekly worship attendance has soared to over 6,000 people on a regular basis, is this one: “Are you surprised?” Our response has become standardized. “Not surprised. Always in awe.”
I’m Not Surprised. The longer I walk in the footsteps of the Waymaker, the more I see His power and ability “to do exceedingly above and beyond anything I could ask or think” (Ephesians 3:20). God has always blown through ceilings His people have constructed. The Bible is full of examples. I serve an amazingly big God. So why should I be surprised when God shows up and does something that He gave us dreams and visions of and we saw elsewhere, planned for, prepared for, and intentionally worked toward?
Always in Awe. I’m in awe that I am seeing a long-time vision fulfilled. I acknowledge that is way too rare in my profession. I’m also in awe that God would use me…a farm boy who went to a three-room country school in Oregon. But when I pause to think about it, God has always used teenage virgins, carpenters, shepherds, fishermen, tax collectors, grape-stompers and other ordinary people. Yet, I’m in awe He has worked through us.
So, on this Easter Weekend, I will continue to live with awe at God’s resurrection power to radically transform lives and change the legacy of whole families for many generations to come. He’s been at it right before our eyes for decades now and why should I ever be surprised at His goodness and grace.
Have a blessed Easter!
Dennis
For the last several weeks leading up to Thanksgiving, forty gardeners have been planting 7 million tulip bulbs at Keukenhof Gardens in the village of Lisse, a short drive from Amsterdam, Netherlands. They are planting 900 varieties in all types of colors and shapes spread over 80 acres with gorgeous water features, fountains, bridges, sculptures that can be viewed by walking over 9 miles of footpaths.
Earlier in the Spring of this year, my wife Linda and I strolled those exquisite pathways and experienced the millions of elegant tulips that were planted a year ago. We not only admired the beauty of the blooming artistic patterns, but even more, we were in awe of the gardeners who designed the garden and then planted the generic-looking bulbs without even seeing the shape or the color of the flowers. Those few hours spent rambling the pathways of the world-famous Keukenhof, led to gratitude-filled reflections for the bulb breeders, designers and planters.
As in all of life, a beautiful flower bulb park does not just happen. Years before, one hundred bulb growers around the world were creating, experimenting and breeding new colors and shapes of tulips. In the Spring, a year prior to blooms, the designer works on both overall garden design and individual flower bed designs for the coming year. The designs are precisely implemented in the Fall of the year. Each bulb is planted by hand, one at a time. Every bulb planted must be exactly the right color and type of flower bulb. Each bulb must be at a certain depth and the distance between the bulbs must be specific for the beautiful effect. For the 8 weeks the gardens are open to the public, it takes 10 months of preparation. Nothing is left to chance. The 7 million bulbs must be in the ground before Christmas. After a hibernation period in cold soil, the warming dirt stimulates the tulip bulbs to bloom in late Spring.
Life is no different. Nothing can be left to chance. Linda and I are celebrating 50 years of marriage this year because we’ve repeatedly sowed positive actions and words of blessing into our relationship. Our three adult children are living fruitful lives because we raised them in an environment where the soil was cultivated, watered and fertilized regularly. Our major life work, the planting of Cape Christian over 38 years ago, is flourishing because we laid a solid foundation based on God’s call to love Him and to love people. We are living without financial stress in partial retirement because we regularly made sacrifices for decades to set aside a percentage of our income into our retirement accounts. Best of all, we have been intentional about investing into our spiritual well-being through consistent spiritual practices of prayer, reading Scripture, worship and fellowship for many decades. As a result, our daily character usually imitates doing what Jesus did. Nothing has been left to chance.
On this Thanksgiving week, give thanks for those in your life who left nothing to chance. Express gratitude for those who have modeled consistent constructive values for you to follow. Choose to be precise with what kind of “bulbs” you are planting in your soil—relationally, spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally and more. A gorgeous garden is simply a result of what you have cultivated, planted, and watered.
It’s one of the hardest physical tests I’ve ever taken. When I was in high school, I played basketball, soccer and track, and those were sometimes very difficult tests of endurance. But this one, at 70 years old, I think was the pinnacle. I’ve been calling it the test of all tests.
Climbing to Grinnell Glacier was very difficult. Almost eight weeks ago now, my friend Phil Rivera and I spent five days in Glacier National Park, Montana. Photography was the focus. Hiking was necessary to get to some of the locations we wanted to photograph. Ten years ago, as one of six students of a professional landscape photographer, I had hiked about two-thirds of the way to Grinnell Glacier for an evening of sunset photography. But this time, we went all the way to the top. With 30 pounds of gear strapped on my back, we hiked from the Many Glacier Lodge parking lot, to the very top. From 5,000 feet to over 7,000 feet. Two-thousand feet elevation gain. About 6 miles up and then back down. It took 11 hours. My Fitbit tracker showed over 38,000 steps that day. Plus, it was the only rainy day we had of our five days at Glacier. It was literally hailing when we got to the top.
What is needed most when we encounter difficult tests in life? I could talk or write for a long time about all of the lessons that could be learned from a challenging hiking experience. But here are the most important three that came to mind.
1 – One Step at a Time. All 38,000 steps were taken, one at a time. One foot in front of the other. Over and over again. If I would have spent my time counting the steps, marking the miles to go yet, thinking only about how difficult it was going to be, I would have never made it. The same applies to other difficult things I’ve encountered as a leader, a pastor, a parent, a spouse or you name it. All tests must be taken, one question at a time, one problem at a time, one step at a time.
2 – Keep the Big Picture in Mind. Don’t forget the reason you are doing what you are doing. Purpose is of utmost importance. Know your why. We wanted to experience and capture photos of one of the most scenic spots in the Rocky Mountains. If you don’t have an end in mind, you will likely give up the climb. Parts of the hike were grueling. The continuous rain meant crossing waterfalls that had formed along the mountainous rocky path. We frequently paused along the way to enjoy the beauty of where we had come from and to remember what was still at the top. The same must be true of challenges and difficulties of our life journeys.
3 – Everyone Needs Encouragement. I’m quite certain that if I would have been alone that day, I would not have made it all the way to the top. Phil, my hiking partner, gave me encouragement many times along the path. Others coming back down the trail after being at the top invigorated us when they told us it was worth it. They didn’t sugarcoat it. They told us the last ½ mile was going to be the worst. Yet, they reminded us we would be glad we persevered. While I think I was maybe the oldest one hiking to the top that day, so many younger people gave me hope and reinforcement that I could make it. Difficult times in life have been the same as that day on the trail. Friends and family have fortified my determination to not give up when it was arduous, and my energy was depleted. Don’t hike or do life alone. Everyone needs support and backing, especially when we are tested to the max.
Being Tested is Good. When I see my cardiologist tomorrow for my annual check-up, I’m going to let him know what I did and that I did it without any negative cardiac symptoms. I did have lots of “shortness of breath” with the 2,000+ foot elevation gain and the heavy camera pack on my back, but I expected that. When we are tested in life, we know how strong we really are. When we are tested, we are strengthened for the future. When we are tested, we have a better idea of what we are capable of. Jesus’ brother James wrote, “Consider it pure joy…whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2-4 NIV). Just remember, when testing comes, you only need to take one step at a time, keep the big picture in mind and have others alongside of you to take the journey with. Happy hiking!
Yesterday, I remembered that it was on August 15, 1979, that I officially started my journey as a pastor. I was 25 years old. Already married almost five years. We had two young boys, ages 3½ and 9 months. We had just purchased our first home that week. It was my first day on “the job.” It was the start of a seven-year pastorate. My first church. Elmira, New York. The beginning of 45 contiguous years of being a pastor.
Knowing what I know now, what would I tell my 25-year-old self if I could rewind my life and go back to that day? I was specifically reflecting on four areas of my life. What would I tell that 25-year-old Dennis in those four areas?
FAITH – I had already committed myself to follow Jesus nearly 15 years earlier. I had already sensed an emerging call to my life purpose 10 years earlier at age 15. At 25 years old, I was not new to faith or new to the call of being a pastor. But 45 years has taught me some things. I would now tell a much younger Jesus-follower that spirituality is messy. There is not a clear-cut linear line from saying “yes” to Jesus to moral perfection. There is no living “a happily ever after” kind of faith. I would tell a 25-year-old that God’s love and grace is especially abundant for imperfect people. You can relax in the ebbs and flows of a loving relationship with God and not be worried about messing up a perfectly aimed trajectory of religious activity. There is nothing I can do to make God love me more or love me less. I would tell a 25-year-old Dennis to always take God seriously but to take himself a lot less seriously.
HUSBAND – I think I was a decent husband at 25. Although there was that one time that something Linda did or said set off an embarrassing reaction in me that never happened before or since. My hand shot up in the air as if the next thing it was going to do was to come back down and strike her. It scared me. Badly. Before then, I would never have thought I was ever capable of hitting my wife. I didn’t. But I was sobered by the fact I had that potentiality inside of me. To this day, we talk about it and neither of us can remember what was said or done. We just remember, the time and place of the incident. And it reminds us that our 50 years of marriage hasn’t been without flaws. But by God’s grace, we’ve not just survived but thrived in our marriage. I would tell a 25-year-old Dennis to do the same things we did. We worked at our marriage. We read books on marriage. We went to marriage conferences and retreats. We went to counseling. We had honest conversations. We pushed through the tough times. We worked hard and played hard.
FATHER – My three adult kids tell me I was a good dad. When they compare themselves to their peers who have a boatload of baggage due to really messed up parenting, they see themselves as blessed. But if I could have a conversation with 25-year-old Dennis, I would say, “relax more and don’t take yourself too seriously.” I was overly perfectionistic about too many things. Things that don’t matter as much as they did back then. Keeping the car clean inside and outside. Getting their clothes or shoes dirty. And much more. But I would also tell my 25-year-old self that I would never regret prioritizing playing tennis with my son, going fishing with my other son, or playing and coaching my daughter in soccer instead of giving in to the demands of so much potential ministry that could have still been done. Being home four to five nights a week for family dinners instead of at church was a good choice. Choosing to take a weekly day off with very few exceptions was worth it. Choosing to take vacations with the family was worth it. Choosing to keep my promise to take my kids to a professional baseball game instead of leading a major annual church event (that had been changed due to weather) was a huge statement to my kids and our church. I would inform a 25-year-old Dennis that most of the people in my churches would come and go and many parishioners wouldn’t even remember my name a decade later, but my kids would never forget the times they knew I chose them over the seemingly urgent and important demands of ministry.
PASTOR – Now that I’ve had 45 years of pastoral experience, there are a few things I would tell my 25-year-old self. I would counsel him that you are more than your title. Your identity as a pastor is only a small portion of who you are. You are a child of God, a husband, a dad, a grandpa, a neighbor, a community leader, a photographer, and more. Your sacred calling is unique. It’s more than a job. But you are more than a pastor. I would let that young pastor know that people are messier than you imagined. People will tell you about their incomprehensibly ugliest sins. You will have to go to morgues to identify bodies. You will be with families when their loved one takes their last breath. You will assist people toward a life transformation that will affect generations to come. You will be sad when people didn’t follow your wise counsel. You will have to tell people the worst news they will ever have to hear. You will sometimes not have words to comfort the hysterical parents of a child who just committed suicide. You will be asked for answers to unanswerable questions. You will take the brunt of a board member’s unwarranted anger and accusations and then they will walk away and leave without even an apology or a goodbye. You will get the privilege of seeing abundant fruit from a small seed planted decades ago. I would tell a young pastor that it is not either/or. It is both/and. It is sweet and sour. But mostly sweet. A wonderful and fruitful 45 years it has been. There is very little I would change. It is a privilege to serve. I’m very grateful.
QUESTION: What are some things you would tell your 25 year old self?
